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Hey Jeff Bezos, next time, can you fly that phallic-looking rocket...

up Uranus?

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When the tyrant had a massive phallic watercraft commissioned to be made from potatoes he didn't really consider its seaworthiness.

His dick tater ship didnt last very long.

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What do you call a phallic shaped potato growing entirely above ground?

A rootless dick-tater

A pencil isn't as phallic as a

pen is.

What do you call a phallic potato?

A dictator.

Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

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What do you call a phallic, prickly plant in the desert?

A Cocktus.

Some drug screens involve taking a strand of hair and analyzing it for illicit substances. It's called a follicle test.

Of course there are guys who try to beat that by shaving their head, but that doesn't work because the lab will just take a pubic hair instead. That's called the phallical test.

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A chap goes to the doctor about his erectile disfunction

A chap goes to the doctor about his erection, and the kindly doctor prescribes him some Viagra. He explains to him that he needs to take it an hour before the act, so the next night the chap gets home early and prepares a romantic dinner for his wife.

He then calls her in the office where she...

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American Hospitals

Where they fuck you in the ass, then explain that $20,000 is the uninsured rate for a phallic colonoscopy

Two fishermen are sitting in a boat indulging in some wordplay.

The first one says, "If I tell you a joke that relies on *casting* the word "rod" in a phallic sense, would you find it *fishy*?"

"Oh," says the second one, "I think I can *tackle* it."

"So... *net-net*, you'd take the *bait*?"

"Oh-ho! *Hook, line, and sinker*!"

"I don't ...

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A woman had been seeing a psychiatrist for several sessions.

At the end of one of them, she said to the shrink, "I have a question that's been bugging me for weeks."

The psychiatrist said, "What do you need to know?"

The woman replied, "You have been talking about phallic symbols. What's a phallus?"

The psychiatrist was take aback by the...

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[nsfw] Voodoo Dick (Long)

Lucia popped into her local South American produce shop on the way home from work (it was enchilada night). While browsing she got a call from her bff Natalie and spent some time talking about the recent divorce, and her lack of sex life. Shortly after hanging up, she was approached by the store cle...

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