My little sister is WAY into frozen too much

I told her to let it go

Joke said by my little sister

"Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon?"
"Why?"
"Because she will let it go"

A joke my little sister thought of today

A blue man lives in the blue house, a purple man lives in the purple house, a red man lives in the red house, who lives in the white house?

An orange man.

A little boy wrote a letter to Santa stating he wanted a little sister

The next day he got a letter from santa saying: Ok send me your mother

My little sister's sick burn

She's 7, which makes this so much better.

Her: Hey /u/Teeplaysgames, wanna know why Mom named Noah (our brother) Noah?

Me: Sure, why?

Her: Because the first time she saw him, she yelled "NOO! AHHHH!" and the doctor just wrote that down.

Cute knock knock with a twist

My little sister (8)
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Nobody
Nobody who?
Why are you asking who’s there if nobody is there?

I really think it is intelligent of her and actually funny!

She told me to tell my Reddit friends. So...

My little sister's cat died...

...she cried telling me she needs another identical one. I got her one today, but i don't know why she needs another dead cat.

Here's one myfriend's little sister told me.

Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the "p" is silent.

My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?"

My mom answered ‟Who?”

‟Your daughter”

courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago

I took my little sister hunting one time.

I thought we could bond a little bit but during the trip I saw a bear. I took out my pistol and shot it and then my sister started crying. We had to rush back to the truck, couldn’t even grab the pelt.

All I thought when I was trying to comfort her on the way home was, “Damn, last time I’m e...

REQUEST: Burn victim jokes to keep my little sister happy because she accidentaly splashed a few drops of oil on her face

She's completely fine, in case anyone asks, but she has a few burn marks on her face. Doctor says itll take a few weeks to heal though and will probably scar. Just need some dark humor to cheer her up.

If this isn't the correct subreddit for this can someone direct me to one?

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A guy is enjoying a nice cold beer in a bar when out of nowhere...

A clearly drunk old man walks over and says to him "Hey boy! Guess what! I saw your little sister naked! Wotcha gonna do about it pussy?"

The guy says "Nothing. Go and sit down and leave me alone."

10 minutes later the old man comes back and says "Oy young fella! I once touched your Gr...

(NSFW)So I'm tickling my little sisters foot, and my mom goes absolutely nuts and starts beating me up...

Nobody told me not to touch her until she's born...

I tickled my little sister's foot this morning and my mum went crazy about it...

..something about waiting until she was born

Knock knock I heard from my little sister

Who's there

Owls

Owls who?

Yes... Yes they do

My little sister can't say PlayStation, she says "Sayytann"

good enough.

What do little sisters love to ride?

A nissan.

Courtesy of my little sister: I smell BO

That means everything is going to BO K

My little sister hated that our mother was addicted to cigarettes so she took a fork and stabbed the packet repeatedly.

Mom was not pleased. Holy smokes!

^(Based on a true story)

Why didn't Billy want to toss his little sister in the air?

He didn't want to harmonica!

Why did the farmer cross the road?

To get his chicken back.


(Credit goes to my little sister. Did this one when she was eight. She's a legend.)

A four year kid is being rushed to the hospital with coughing,high fever, vomiting and a searing headache.

The doctor meets him and takes him to do examinations. First,he needs to know what's the worst. He asks "Ben,can you tell me what's bothers you the most?"
He replies: "I'd have to say my little sister".

Me and my little sister were talking about our plans for Halloween this year

At the very least, we'll all wear masks

I was tickling my little sister's feet when mum wakes up and starts giving me a right earful.

Something about "Waiting until she's born".

Jake was sitting on the porch with his little sister, and said, "Look, there's a quarter in the street!"

His sister jumped up and ran into the street to get the money and was promptly hit by a truck. Jake just laughed and laughed, because he knew it was only a nickel.

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An inappropriate joke my child made-up:

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck you!

Little sister (too excited)
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fuck you!

*We’re just terrible parents...

A teenager is feeling insecure about his looks.

His mom tries to convince him that he's a beautiful boy, but he keeps answering that she can't say anything objective because she's his mom. At some point, the mom has enough and tells him :

- You know what? I wanted to go see my old friend Sabrina who didn't see you in like 10 years with you...

Recently I lost my friend’s trust and respect..

He didn't like to see me sniffing his little sister's panties. Maybe it was because she was wearing it, other than that I don't see what could have bothered him. Anyway, the rest of her funeral went very badly for me.

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Tom was asked to write an essay about family

Tom wasn’t a very bright boy. So when he got home he went to ask his mother for help. His mother sees a stray cat outside attacking her plants to which she whispers “You son of a bitch it’s on” looks at Tom and replies “I’m busy, bother someone else.” Tom writes that down.


Tom then went t...

My Sister's Fingers

Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

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Told to me by a miner, so you know it's bad.

A reporter is doing an article about West Virginia, as he is compiling and editing he realizes that he has no human interest story. So he heads out to a local bar and sees an old timer sitting by himself. He explains the situation and asks him what he's like.

The old timer responds, "what do ...

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[NSFW] A few days after his 10th birthday, Little Johnny’s parents sit him down for a talk ...

Dad: “Johnny, you are ten years old, and in a few months you will have a little sister. It’s time you learned where babies come from.”

Johnny: “Mom! Dad! Not again! Last year, you told me Santa wasn’t real. The year before, it was the tooth fairy. Are you about to tell me that people don’t ac...

New Movie

My little sister asked me if I heard about the movie constipation. She then said, never mind it hasn’t come out yet! I laughed and then asked her if she ever heard of the movie diarrhea. I told her it went on forever!

I walked in on my parents as a kid...

As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.

The next day my dad tells me "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."

So, when I was young I always want...

A rich man and a poor man

There once was a rich man and a poor man. Each longed for love and a life to share with another special person. One day they both found just that. Come to find out however, they were each dating the other's sister.

So the rich man, being very protective of his little sister, organized a doub...

What do you call a funny hill?

Hilarious ...


My little sister told me this and I wasn't expecting it at all. :|

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I took my little sister to the cinema. Apparently the sex was too graphic.

Everyone asked us to stop.

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My little sister knocked me out cold today ..

Seriously what kind of sick fuck finds it funny to rub choloform on used panties ..

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A young man who barely looks of age walks into a bar...

...and orders a shot of whiskey. After checking his ID, the bartender pours him one. The young man grabs the shot glass and throws it back, slams it down on the counter and orders another.

The bartender pours it and again the young man slams it back and demands one more.
The bartender rel...

A small weeb joke

What does a little sister ride?

A Nissan

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A Quick Learner

Paw is talking to Maw one day.

"Maw. Ernest is 18 now. It's about time we teach him about fuckin".

"Ok." Says Maw, "I'll wait in the bedroom."

Paw calls Ernest over and says "Son, you're old enough now, its time you learn about fuckin."

"Well what's fuckin?" Says Ernest....

A teacher is interviewing her class on their daily habits

- Teacher: What do you do all day, James?
- James: Well I wake up, have breakfast and then go to school. After school finishes I head back home, have dinner and hit the sack.

Glad that James has a normal, healthy day, the teacher encourages him to keep it up and moves on to the next studen...

My parents always told me when you fail try again while growing up,

And that's why I have a little sister.

I called my boss this morning and told him i was sick.

"Just how sick are you?" he said.
"well im in bed with my little sister, is that sick enough"

A southern baptist and her two daughters are shopping at the mall, when suddenly, the three are separated

In hopes of finding her children, she talked to the employee at the Customer Service kiosk


Southern Baptist Woman: I'm looking for my daughters, have you seen them?







Kiosk Worker: I can't say I have. May I have their names, please?






...

My mum got really annoyed when I tried to tickle my little sister's feet...

she said something about 'waiting till she was born'.

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year...

...and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight m...

One morning, a little girl goes into the living room and asks her mother...

"Why did you name me Rose, mom?"

Mom says, "As we we leaving the hospital after you were born, a rose petal fell on your head. So we named you Rose."

The daughter says, "Is that why my little brother is named Leaf and little sister is named Rain?"

"Yes," Mom says. "Exactly."...

My favourite joke of all time.

Once upon a time a boy went up to his mother and said: Mom, why am I named feather? The mom responded: "That's because when you were born a feather landed on your head".

The next day the boys little sister said to their mother: "Mom, why am I named leaf?" The mom responded: "That's because w...

The son wanna date a neighbour

\- Dad, can I date Lisa next door?

\- No, she is your sister.

\- How about Anna in block 59?

\- No, she is your little sister.

\- Ok, this is weird. How about Karen the waitress? Can I date her or is she my sister too?

\- No, she is your brother.

The upset s...

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Goodnight Kiss

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight, the guy starts feeling a little horny.

With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her "Darling, would you give me a blowjob?"

Horrified, she rep...

Moms favorite things

Kid: "Dad, why did you decide to name my little sister Teresa?"

Dad: "It was your moms idea mainly. She decided that she would name all her children after things she absolutely loved. Teresa is an anagram of the word Easter, and it's your moms favorite holiday."

Kid: "Huh, that makes s...

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Paratrooper Training

My cousin was on leave after basic training and came home to see all of the family. He was in basic training to become a paratrooper, just like his father and grandfather. The only problem was that he was deathly afraid of heights. Upon arrival we all gathered around to hear him tell us how it we...

So a guy is about to propose to his girlfriend and has already spoken to his father-in-law-to be.

The only problem is that his girlfriend's gorgeous little sister is always flirting with him and he finds it hard to ignore.

One night he gets a text from the younger sister telling him to stop over at her place for a talk. When he arrives, she invites him in and confesses that she is despera...

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So a young couple is coming home from a date

And they arrive at her doorstep. They kiss goodnight and it heats up fast. He leans against the wall and says

"Hey babe... how'd you feel about giving me a quick BJ?" She's surprised.

"What? No! what if someone sees!"

"Relax! no one'll see, it's dark out here, it's late, eve...

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