UPJOKE
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Why is Twitter more lenient than Facebook jail?

Because they give out shorter sentences

Why should we be lenient on drug abusers with lisps?

All they did was meth up.

A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors

But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.

Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man.

A British man, a French man and a Spanish man are caught stealing in a foreign country.

They are prosecuted and the judge sentences them all to 100 lashes each. However he wants to look lenient in the eyes of their respective countries so he reduces the lashes to twenty and allows them to have two requests each before being lashed.

The Spanish is first to be lashed and requests...

During a trial the defendant says "Your Honor, I believe that someone who saw his father die from the hands of a man he trusted most, and then witnessed the same thing happen to his mother, deserves to be granted a more lenient sentence".

The judge replies: "Sir, while I appreciate your concern, I do not think this line of thought applies to murdering your own parents."

Africans arrested in Saudi Arabia

A Togolese, Nigerian and a Ghanaian were arrested for drinking alcohol in Saudi Arabia.

The three of them were dragged in front of one of the princes, who said:

“You will get 50 lashes for the consumption of alcohol. However, since you are foreigners and did not know about the prohibit...

Out of desperation, I robbed a bank dressed as a frog and being a novice, the cops caught me right away. I thought I was going away to the big house for a very long time, but surprisingly, the judge was lenient and let me go...

...because it was the first time I had ever Kermitted a crime.

Ever been to the Tower of Pisa?

the security is pretty lenient

Sergeant Wilson was appalled to discover that ten of his men were late arriving back at camp following their leave.

As he waited impatiently at the camp gates, one of his men finally ran up to him, panting heavily.

“Sorry, sir, I can explain,” said the soldier.

“Soldier, this better be good.” responded his sergeant.

So the soldier told Sergeant Wilson his story. “Sir, you see, I had a date, a...

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Sunday School Suzy

There was once a girl named Suzy. She went to Sunday school at her local church every week. Her parents were lenient so she slept through most of the days. One day while Suzy was asleep she was called on by the teacher. The teacher asked “Suzy, what is the name of our lord and saviour?”. Suzy didn’t...

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If Johnny Had a Twin Brother

A single mother was raising a pair of terrible twins boys and was at wits ends as to what to do about their behavior, so he went to her pastor to ask for help.

"They're absolute terrors! They disobey me, they wreck the house, they don't do their homework. And worst of all, they cuss like a co...

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