Cure for coughing

John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.

Just then a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best ...

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Why'd you put ex-lax in the pot brownies?

Ah... Just for shits and giggles.

What do you get if you mix Ex-Lax with holy water?

A religious movement.

What do upholstery and Ex-Lax have in common?

They can both soften your stool.

An elderly Australian woman is visiting her son in the US for his birthday.

She arrives at LAX early in the morning and arranges to drive to his house, in New Orleans, in order to “take in the scenery” and see what the American South has to offer.

She drives at a leisurely pace, and stops at scenic viewpoints whenever possible, knowing she has some time to get to he...

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Three tourists board a taxi at LAX

One is German, one is Italian, the other is Japanese. En route to their accommodation, a Porsche speeds past the taxi, prompting the German to brag 'Porsche, very fast. Made in Germany'.


A few miles later, a Lamborghini speed past, prompting the Italian to brag 'Lamborghini, very fast. ...

First trip to the USA

My friend and I visited the USA. We landed at LAX and after an epoch, we cleared Homeland Security and got our luggage.

My friend immediately pulled out a pair of brown, furry, shoulder length gloves and pulled them on. I stared at him. He looked ridiculous - the gloves even had claws. ...

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Three old men, 70, 80, and 90 years young, sat on a park bench for a chat.

During their conversation, the topic of sleep schedules and bodily functions comes up. Of course, being a competitive group, each one feels the need to have the most significant problems.

The 70 year old says, "I wake up at 5 AM every morning and need to pee urgently, but I have to stand th...

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My doctor prescribed me viagra and ex-lax today.

Now I don't know if I'm coming or going.

I went to the LAX Airport

But the security was anything but.

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Ex-lax

Did you know that all boxes of Ex-lax have been recalled? You can't buy Ex-lax anywhere. Really..I'm not shittin'.

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Got stoned and decided to buy a bottle of ex-lax

Just for shits and giggles.

Two guys are stuck in prison.

Desperate to get back out and perhaps lead semi-regular lives, the two cellmates try to brainstorm for an escape plan. A mere hour and a half later, one of the men comes up with a plan: steal some children's craft scissors, smuggle them back to the cell, cut through the floor, and cut out a tunnel b...

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"Secret code"

This joke is set in India where the traffic rules are just as lax as the traffic cops.

One day, while riding to work on his bike, John realized he had forgotten his helmet.
He knew the cops would catch him when they saw this and that he'd have to bribe his way out of a heavy fine.

S...

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I just patented my new combination aphrodisiac and stool softener!

SexLax: "Easy come, easy go!"

Wow! A sort-by-new gold! I'm honoured!

I flew to Los Angeles today.

Everyone told me that security there would be really strict, but honestly, I thought the whole thing was very LAX.

I've never lost a single case in my career

I'm the best baggage handler at LAX.

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The Pilot and the Flight Attendant.

A Delta Airlines flight from LAX to JFK was in the cruise when the aircraft hit some heavy chop. The captain comes on the PA system to give the regular announcement for passengers to "please fasten their seatbelts and refrain from using the restrooms at this time", in the confusion of the situation ...

How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport

Re:LAX

What do you call a person sleeping in LA’s airport?

SnorLAX

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Man at a motel in the middle of nowhere

This joke is actually best heard in Hindi, let's see how well it does translated.

A man is staying in a room at a motel at night in the middle of nowhere, on his way to a different city. Being the only establishment as far as the eye can see, let's just say the management is lax about basic u...

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The pilot and the Air Traffic Controller

Planes were waiting to take of at LAX. Been waiting for some time when a pilot radioed, "I'm fucking bored."

The tower immediately responded tersely with, "pilot who just made that comment, identify yourself."

After a few moments the tower heard, "I said I was fucking bored, not fuckin...

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Southern Charm

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.
The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they ...

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