A lawyer wanted to buy an apartment for his family, but kept being denied by landlords because he had 8 kids.
People keep telling him to lie about how many kids he has, but being a lawyer, he feels too guilty to lie. One day, however, he decides that enough is enough. He tells his wife to take the 7 younger kids with her and go to the cemetery. He then takes the oldest kid and brings him to visit a new apar...
Landlords are so stuck up
They act like they own the place.
A man moves to town and hunts around for an apartment to rent
A man moves to town and hunts around for an apartment to rent, but he’s turned down by most landlords because of his large dog (mastiff, doberman, etc.). He finally secures a carriage house that’s in the backyard of a house owned by two old women by assuring the ladies that the dog is perfectly frie...
Rather than kill it, my girlfriend told me to catch this spider in our kitchen and take him out.
So I did. I got a big ol' jar and put it over him then slid an index card under and flipped. Apply lid to jar, phase one was complete.
Next step, take him out. I opened the door and went outside. I walked across my lawn to the street where my car was parked. I got in my car with my jar-spide...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
What is cold?
What is cold? (note: to get the temperature into Fahrenheit: multiply by 9, divide by 5, then add 32)
+10°C The inhabitants of Helsinki (Finland) turn off their heating. The Laps (inhabitants of Lapland) plant flowers.
+5°C The Laps take a sun-bath (if the sun gets over the...