UPJOKE
landlordlawjurisprudenceforeclosurereprieverepossessiondeportationsquattersnoticeshousemateinjunctionexpulsiontenantspetitionevacuation

A poor old lady was forced to sell her valuables to avoid eviction.

As she rummaged through her dusty belongings, she came across a dull copper kettle. Intrigued by it’s possible value the old woman dusted it off and BAM! A genie erupted from its neck.

The genie says “I have seen your plights, and will grant you three wishes.”

The woman, astounded, thi...

What's the similarity between a bad postman and an eviction notice

There's nothing worse than the day they come in the mail

So, the other day my landlord asked me out on a date.

I mean, they called it "an eviction" but I knew what they meant.

Mr. Smith, a very wealthy man...

Mr. Smith, a very wealthy man, is in town on business and towards the end of his trip he decides to take a walk on the docks and take in the ocean view.

As he's walking he comes up on a young boy, maybe 12 years old, crying on the edge of the dock.

Mr. Smith hesitates but decides to a...

How should the American taxpayer recoup Trump's expensive presidency.

Make his eviction pay-per-view.

What did the struggling, single mother get for Christmas?

An eviction notice.

A guy walks into a bar...

... with his dog a step behind him. The bartender immediately looked up and said

"Hey, city ordinance, no animals allowed where food or drink is served!"

The guy looks apologetic, but says "I'm sorry, but this is no ordinary dog. This is my magic talking dog! Look, if I can convince ...

So the Marines, the Seals, and the Air Force were all asked to do a joint mission...

There were three key buildings that needed to be taken over in order to for the operation to succeed, and Superiors from the three fields wanted to gauge the performances of their respective subordinates. So they set a deadline, and convened the day after the deadline to compare notes. The the offic...

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