Knitting Needle Jokes

The police are on the hunt for a killer who has been stabbing their victims with knitting needles. The police believe they may be following a pattern.

Police fear he may be working to a pattern

Early reports from the police suggest he is following some kind of pattern...

They were worried she might knit an afghan.

A priest talks to a man who visits church religiously every sunday with his wife. The wife tends to fall asleep during his monologue and starts snoring rather loudly, and he'd like the husband to do something about it. They decide to use a knitting needle, where the husband would poke her when the p... read more

A man was on a train eating a bag of fresh shrimps, ripping off the heads and shells and then throwing them out of the window.

After he had gobbled a few of them down an older woman opposite him said, "Would you mind not doing that? It's disgusting to watch."

"Listen, love." He repli... read more