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Tubes Jokes

Is it okay to compare a man getting “the snip” with a woman getting her tubes tied?

After all, there isn’t a vas deferens between the two ovum

What do you call five tubes of human toothpaste?

The winners of the 2023 Darwin Awards!

Four worms were placed in four separate test tubes

The first was filled with beer, the second with wine, the third with whiskey, and the last with water.

The next day, the teacher shows the results:

- Worm in beer: dead
- Worm in wine: dead
- Worm in whiskey: dead
- Worm in water: alive

The teacher asks, "Wh...

A farmer is trying to grow hydroponic potatoes, but he starts them in test tubes. This results in the potatoes being long with a round bulge at the top, so they look like male genitals.

The farmer tries to sell them to anyone and eventually even posts them online, where he surprisingly starts getting more orders than he can fill; and all from Russia. He’s surprised but grows another batch and they sell out again. He starts worrying there might be something illegal going on so he go...

This racist blonde with 3 kids got her tubes tied...

because she read that 1 child in 4 is black.

2 test tubes

‘We have two test tubes here,’ said the professor of IVF studies from Monash University. ‘They contain two carefully synthesized ingredients that we can now use to create human life. Solution A is a genetically engineered copy of all the ingredients in the female ovum, while Solution B replicates th...

I dropped the expired blood tubes as I was handing them to my coworker

Now there’s bad blood between us

I'll never understand how Americans use cheese from tubes or slices as everyday food...

We should definitely make America grate again.

My wife said she would leave me if i suggested getting her tubes tied again...

But i think she's just ovaryacting.

Two people walk onto a stage, both holding metal tubes. One sings and the other raps. How do you tell which is which before they start performing?

Easy: The singer’s got pipes, and the rapper’s got bars.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In case of any apocalyptic scenarios, scientists want to store the DNA of millions of species of animals and plants in lava tubes of the moon

The DNA of any illicit substances will be kept in Uranus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was traveling on a 10 hour flight and thought I'd have a quick chat to make time go by faster

So I turn towards the young person beside me.

Me: Hello, would you like to have a quick chat to make time go by quicker?

She: Sure. What do you want to talk about?

Me: So why don't we talk about Iran's Nuclear Program?

Then she goes "All right then" and puts down her cra...

NSFW: Sperm 1: God I'm getting tired! How long 'til we reach the fallopian tubes?

Sperm 2: Still a long way to go..........We've only passed the tonsils.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'd been in a serious accident.

Thursday night I gradually woke up stiff as a plank in hospital's ICU, tubes up my nose & down my throat, wires monitoring every function & all around my head, hell of a pain over my left ear, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over me.


It was obvious I'd been in a serious accident.<...

I was at the supermarket the other day...

I was at the supermarket the other day, buying dog food. As I was standing in line for the cash register, there was a lady behind me asking me if I had a dog (beacuse why else would I be buying dog food, right?!) Anyway, my inner demon woke up, so I told the lady that I don't have a dog, but that I ...

I got an e-mail from a buddy of mine. He always has trouble spelling certain words. He said he quit his job at the glue factory. Upper management wanted everyone to put out 2,500 tubes per hour

I guess he's not the type to work in a fast paste environment.

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