I was disappointed that my sister started dating a guy who praised Stalin, idolized Karl Marx, and was working to form a union at work

I don't know she missed all the red flags

Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx

But no one remembers his sister, Onya, She invented the starting pistol.

Why was Karl Marx buried at Highgate Cemetery?

Because he was dead.

Why did Karl marx dislike earl grey tea?

Because all proper-tea is theft

Back in the 1980s the soviets had their own version of the American toy Stretch Armstrong. They modeled it after their hero, Karl.

The toy was called Stretch Marx.

Why did Karl Marx only write in lowercase?

Because he hated capitalism.

Karl: Thanks to Duolingo, I can ask people if they are a horse, but I can't introduce myself in french.

Mark: Ask me if I'm a horse

Karl: Tu es un Cheval?

Mark: Nay.

Little Karl was with his grandma in a supermarket

Little Karl yelled to his grandma: Granny, I need to pee!

Grandma replied: We are in a public place, don't say you need to pee, say something nice, say you need to sing.

Later, when grandma was sleeping, Little Karl went to grandmas room and woke her: Granny, I need to sing!

Gr...

Two German explorers

Two German explorers were making their way east across New York when they came to a wide river.

Karl: How vill vee get across dee large body of vater?

The other explorer sees a large, steel object north of them.

Heinrich: Look der es und structure dat vee can use to cross
<...

Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters?

Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital

A rich man visits Karl Marx as he's writing the Communist manifesto.

He asks: "So what's in that book of yours, Mr. Marx?"

Marx replies: "None of your business."

What does Karl Marx, a bus driver and a sous chef at a 5-star restaurant have in common?

Everything, if Marx had his way.

Hey girl is your name Karl Marx?

Cuz you're starting an uprising in my lower classes

I'm a big fan of Karl Marx's books, and if that makes me a communist;

Then So vie It

Karl Marx as a student

In University, Karl Marx's Political Economics professor noted that every day, the young man would get up halfway through class and walk out, which caused a good deal of disruption. The professor quickly grew tired of the daily distraction, and so one day, as Marx stood up and prepared to leave, the...

Karl had the worst headache ever.

After he slowly opened his eyes, one at a time, he found that his wife had already left the bedroom. He was lying on the floor for some reason and had a raging headache and a big bump on his forehead. That probably meant he was getting screamed at, when he got downstairs.

He tried to go to th...

What’s Karl Marx’s favorite measurement of time?

Hours

Karl Marx dies and stands trial before St. Peter.

St. Peter: "The ideas you preach have brought misery to billions. I send you to the deepest pits of Hell!"

After a few months Satan calls God:

Satan: "God, please remove Marx from my realm as soon as possible."

God: "Why would I do that? He is a sinner, his fate is to burn in H...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karl Marx had a lesser known brother in the scat porn industry. His name?

Skid Marx.

A communist, like Karl Marx, says to seize the means of production...

Capitalist Donald Trump however, prefers to seize the means of reproduction.

Hear about the famous Philosopher Karl?

He died Jung

Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music every time you flush it?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

The Trophy Maker (OC - long)

Old Rick Giuseppe was a fifth-generation trophy maker – like his father, grandfather, great grandfather and great great great grandfather before him. Alas, Old Rick Giuseppe’s wife had died a few years ago, and the man lived in solitude, apart from a cat named Jeffery, who was his late wife’s belove...

I was in a cafe the other day...

And I saw an unusual item on the menu: a duck sandwich. And I thought, how sad...

Finally the duck is surrounded by bread, but in no position to enjoy it

(Credit to the one and only Karl Chandler)

A store for wisdom

Dr. Who was traveling through time and space, when he came upon a cache of the universe's best wise sayings. He loaded them into the Tardis and decided to set up a shop on a nice little corner just outside of reality to sell the sayings to the great thinkers and writers of all time. He advertised hi...

Why was Karl Marx against Chinese mutes?

Because he hated the Bù shuō!

What do you call a communist dog?

Karl Barx

Shout-out to "Matt & Tom" for that 😊

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bit of history

In the Victorian era the rich people drank tea from bone china cups while the poorer classes had to use earthen-ware mugs. Bone china can stand the shock of having boiling water poured directly into it but earthen-ware can't. So the upper classes would pour their teas and then add the milk but the l...

Which kid?

Wife: Honey, i think you don't love our kids equally. It seems you have one that gets less love from you.

Husband: Really? Which kid do you mean? Karl, Tina or the fat one

I just graded a social studies essay on capitalism

Dan, my brightest student, wrote a brilliant essay about how wages and labor are balanced to ensure that a vendor sells his product at a competitive price. I gave him A marks.

Emily wrote an essay that touched upon the fundamentals, but didn't really explain the concepts with the quality and ...

Miley Cyrus's VMA preformance...

Was so classless Karl Marx came in his grave

German guy at the French border.

A German guy is at the French border.

The French customs officer asks him some questions.

-Name?

*-Karl Schmidt.*

-Place of Residence?

*-Munich.*

-Occupation?

*-Oh, no, no. I'm just visiting.*




(Translated from an /r/French comment: ...

Fidel Castro dies and goes to hell.

There he discovers that he has a choice: he can go to capitalist hell or to communist hell. Naturally, he wants to compare the two, so he goes over to capitalist hell.

There outside the door is the devil, who looks a bit like Ronald Reagan. “What’s it like in there?” asks Fidel. “Well,” the d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Study Conducted by the German Scientist

Okay this isn't really a joke but it's kind of interesting, especially if you like dogs. In 1998 a German researcher by the name of Dr. Karl Wagner conducted a study on the agility of dogs. One hundred male dogs and one hundred females dogs each ran a series of increasingly difficult obstacle cours...

Fidel Castro Dies on Black Friday

Adam Smith: 1
Karl Marx: 0

Two whales walk into a bar...

The first whale says oooOOOOoOooOOoOoooOOOOoOoOOOooooOo

The second whale says: "Karl you're drunk!"

In the 1950's ol' Joe died and approached the gates of heaven

Being his natural self, he brought his ol' trusty gun with him.
Saint Peter greets him and says:
"You cannot enter heaven with a gun, my son"

Obviously ol' Joe is pretty upset and walks in circles trying to figure out what to do and actually manages to catch a glimpse through the gate...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Soviet Joke

After Stalin’s death, the Soviet nation decided to get rid of him once and for all and bury him as far away as possible. They set up a special commission.
The commission turned to the British government with the request that they make available a plot in a British cemetery.
“Well,” replies the...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.