Werner Jokes

"Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because of the enormity of its stupidity, there is no purpose to any of its actions."

He wasn't certain exactly where their relationship was currently going, but he knew that it was moving too fast.

Whenever he had the energy, he didn’t have the time.

The cop asked, do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg responds, no but I know exactly where I am.

The officer said “I clocked you going 75.”

Heisenberg replied “Great, now I’m lost!”

...when he sees a police car is flashing its lights at him. He pulls over, and so does the cop. The cops gets out, taps on Heisenberg's window, he rolls it down.
"Sir," the cop asks, "do you know how fast you were going?"
"No," Heisenberg replies, "but I know where I am."

*One time back in the 1980s when I was living in Austria, a bunch of us went out for a beer. During the chit-chat, an American friend of mine named Margie insisted that Austrian jokes weren't funny. Her (Austrian) boyfriend Werner disagreed. Margie said, "Well, tell that mouse joke of yours." Werner... read more

It comes with a GPS or a speedometer, but not both.

The shop assistant said "In principle we do, but I'm uncertain".

...when they got pulled over for speeding. However, when the police officer tried to ask them how fast they were going, he couldn't get a straight answer, and the group was so rowdy that they had to be brought in for questioning.

So all 7 of them are taken to the police station, and individua... read more

Werner Heisenberg and Ernst Schrodinger are driving down the road late one night, and they are stopped by a cop.

Heisenberg rolls down the window and says, “evening officer”.

The cop asked, “Do you know how fast you were going?”

Heisenberg says, “No, but I knew exactly where I ... read more

Thought i'd make a post compiling a few of my favourite science jokes. You can add your favourites in the comments below.


Q: How many physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to hold the lightbulb, and the other to rotate the universe around it.


Q:... read more