UPJOKE
rosaveronicaroserosyorchidcarnationwallflowerlilacdaffodilpetaldelphiniumtuliphibiscusflowerodo

Otto Jokes

What is Otto von Bismarck's favourite Queen song?

Under Prussia.

Upon arriving in hell, I was surprised to find a clerk asking me, “In which military would you like to serve?” Turns out Alexander the Great, Napoleon, and Otto Von Bismarck overthrew Satan centuries ago and have been fighting each other ever since.

"Oh, that’s an easy one, ” I reply.

The clerk looked at me, skeptical.


“You don’t even want to talk to a recruiter? They can tell you all about the perks of each side.”

“No thank you. I know Napoleon will never lose.”

“Well, that’s a pretty stron...

Otto the vampire bat came flapping in from the night- his face covered in fresh blood and settled on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Soon, all the other bats smelled the blood and hassled Otto to tell them where he got it.
"Ok, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of his fellow residents behind him. Finally, he slowed down and the other bats milled around him, tongues hanging out expectantly.
"Do you s...

Me - So, what do you do?

Otto - I'm a supervillain.

Me - What's your name?

Otto - Corrector.

Me - HAHAHA! Are you Sirius?
What's your super powder?
Wait a minion……
what the help is happy ninja to me? PLEATS
MAKE IT DUCKING STOP!

A german joke in english

Last week Otto the German was driving from Germany to Paris to visit some relatives.
A French cop stops him and asks the usual questions:


cop: name?

Otto: Otto

cop: address?

Otto: 341 Brandenburg Street, Berlin

cop: Occupation?

Otto: no, just visitin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!

*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale

*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous

*Living Long* by Di...

A Lufthansa pilot...

...landed his AirBus A320 at London's Heathrow Airport. An operations manager saw him deplaning and asked him if he had any trouble landing the plane since it was a bit windy.

"Nein," the pilot answered, "I let Otto land the plane."

"Otto? Is that your co-pilot?"

"Nein, my co-p...

19th century monarchy humor, anyone?

So Otto von Habsburg walks into a sports bar, sees a game on, and asks the bartender who's playing. "Austria and Hungary," he replies. Otto: "Yeah, who are they playing against?"

I asked my friend if I should get a foot stool

Hey said you otto-man

What did the Ottoman General say to the Sultan after the Battle of Vienna?

"Sir, we must retreat! We're Otto-men!"

Germans are always so quick to fix your mistakes when you trying to speak German.

It’s as if the whole German nation is on Otto correct.

What was the Ottoman Empire's main export?

Sultan pepper

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An archeologist is riding through the desert

[Another great joke from German comedian Otto Waalkes]

An archeologist is riding through the desert on his loyal horse Wallah, when he hears a voice.

*get off*

...

*get off*

He gets off his horse and looks around. He doesn't see anyone.

Then he hears it agai...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.