Jewelry Store Jokes - 22 Hilarious Jewelry Store Jokes

A balding white haired man walked into a jewelry store...

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store Friday evening with a beautiful, much younger lady at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, "No, I'd ...

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A woman in a jewelry store farted.....

.....while bending over looking at a beautiful diamond ring. She looks around embarrassed and see the salesman standing behind her. Totally professional he say " Good day madam how may I help u?" Hoping maybe he hadn't heard her accident she ask, " Sir what's the price for this lovely ring?" He answ...

I'm of opening my own jewelry store

If anyone wants to help, give me a ring.

Made this one up on the spot at the jewelry store

The jeweler: "Do any of these pieces scream 'take me home' to you?"

Me: if they were screaming, I wouldn't *want* to take them home.

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A lady goes into a jewelry store.....

... and as she bends over to look at a diamond ring she accidentally lets one rip.

Hoping that no one had noticed she motions the salesman over and asks him for the price on the ring.

He looks her square in the eye, grins and said " Lady, if you farted just looking at it then you wil...

People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.

But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.

A jewelry store owner and his two employees go on lunch break together

At the restaurant they find a lamp on the booth seat.

The owner rubs it and a genie appears; "Ye who have summoned me, I will grant three wishes. Since there's three of you here, you each get one wish."

The first employee says "I wish I was riding a jetski by a tropical beach crowded ...

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A 25-year-old Jewish girl.....

..... tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting and crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

Without ans...

Who says men don't remember?

A couple were holiday shopping at the mall, and the place was
packed. As the wife walked through the mall, she was surprised
to look up and see her husband was nowhere around.

She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and hence, she
became worried that she called him on her ...

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A woman bent down

....to take a close look at a fine piece of jewelry in a jewelry store. In the process she vent out a fart. Embarrassed at that she looked around to see if anyone heard that.
A salesman was right behind her. She gathered her composure and in the hope he didn't notice her breaking the win...

So I was going to take this girl to prom...

But she had all these prerequisites to bringing her, she was very needy.

She wanted me to buy her dress, flowers, a necklace, a limo, ect...

I go to the store for her dress and of course there's a huge line, I'm waiting forever but I finally get the dress.

I make my way to the ...

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Help the poor

I saw a homeless guy this morning who was starving and asking for food. I felt so bad. So I did what every sensible person would do. I went to the jewelry store and bought a bunch of stuff for my wife and a brand new Mercedes for me.

Surely, this money will trickle down to the poor .<...

A boy and his father were walking down the streets of New York..

The boy passed a fancy jewelry store and saw an expensive watch that he wanted to buy. "Can I have this dad?" "Sorry, we can't afford that right now," the dad replied, and they walked away from the store. That night, the father thought about how he hadn't been able to provide for his family, and dec...

Dad said

Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."
Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."

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Two guys are sitting at a bar discussing what they got their wives for Christmas

“I got Sheila a nice pearl necklace from that new jewelry store down the street. I think she’ll like it. What did you get Angie?”

“Well I got her two things this year. I got her a pair of slippers and a .”

“Why’d you get her two things? Don’t you guys usually just do one?”

...

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I heard they were making a new Power Rangers show, so I checked it out.

Since the producers wanted to show to be more fluid to all people, they decided to bring in new rangers. They had all the usual colored rangers, but then they started to add a few more as the show went on.

There were three new rangers that had different disabilities. One was colored ora...

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A Poor Man And A Rich Man

Once there were to buddies. One was a poor man who worked all his life, the other a rich man whom owned several businesses.

They did a lot together. Got married the same day, had kids around the same time.

When It came time for their 50th wedding anniversary the to men were contemplati...

The ending is massive.

A shoe factory specializing in intelligent shoes contacted me, and asked me whether I wanted to try their new smart shoes.

It was free of charge, so I accepted the offer.

First, I asked the shoes to take me to the best burger place in town. And indeed, the shoes walked me right into th...

Being late to come home after work yet again husband calls his wife.

He says to her: Listen I am really sorry, I know I'm already late to come home. Do you remember that jewelry store we went to the other day?

The wife says: Yes!!

Husband: Well, I'm at the bar right across from it.

An ex-con goes out on a date...

So an ex-con is walking around the mall with his girlfriend after dinner, when they happen across a Jewelry store. The girlfriend eyes one of the necklaces on display in the window and says, "Wow, I'd sure love to have a necklace like that around my neck!" Nonchalantly, the ex-con smashes the wind...

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Plan for Next Weekend

Friday at 4:45 an old geezer walks into the jewelry store with a hot babe on his arm. The shopkeeper was going to close but figured the guy must be loaded so he'll stay open. The old man is laying it on thick: "I want to see a ring that won't look dull compared to my angel's beautiful eyes." The gir...

[Long] my uncle told me this joke yesterday;

A guy is at the gym, walks into the locker room and the phone rings. He answers and puts it on speaker , "hey babe, I'm at the jewelry store, that ring I wanted is on sale for $25,000." "Okay babe, we'll go ahead and get it if that's what you want." "Well that Lexus I wanted is on sale for $98,000."...

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