UPJOKE
yale universitybrown universityharvardleagueyaleuniversityvarsityassociationcollegiatencaaassociationalassociativestanfordnonassociationcollege

Ivy League Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dude is lost on an ivy league campus...

He stops someone and asks, "Excuse me. Where's the library at?"

They respond, "My good fellow. This is an ivy league university. Here we do not end our sentences with a preposition."

The dude looks shocked and embarrassed. "I am so sorry. I seem to have forgotten myself. I meant to ask...

A Texan went to an ivy league party on the East coast...

...and there's this group of fancy ladies standing around.

"Howdy," he said. "Which school did y'all go to?"

"Oh... Yale," one of them replied daintily.

'WHICH SCHOOL DID Y'ALL GO TO?!"

Where do evil scientists get their degree?

The Poison Ivy League.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ivy League School Principal, Mr. Marquez, and Community College Principal, Mr. Davidson, were arguing that their respective students were the most fearless.

Ivy League school principal called his students and asked them to jump in sea full of sharks.

They jumped.

Principal said: “See the guts…”

Community College principal called his students and asked them to jump.

They said: "Have you completely lost your marbles, Mr. Davids...

Where does a toxicologist go to get the best possible education?

A Poison Ivy League College.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A physics professor asks this question in his class.

If a plane is flying in South East direction at 795 miles an hour and it takes a torque of 58000 N/m2 to unscrew a nut from the main pillar of Brooklyn Bridge, then calculate my age as of today?

The ivy league geniuses in the class immediately went to work. Firing up thier computers and calc...

A Southern Man vs. a Yankee for a job

After a lengthy interview process, the HR department selected 2 Gentlemen for a final interview for a top spot in an advertising firm, a Yankee and a Southern man. The final interview challenge was simple enough, come up with a poem for the advertising firms newest client Timbuktu. The Yankee was ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke my father taught me. NSFW

Johnny was in high school. He was a star athlete, made high honor roll, and had a full ride scholarship to go to an ivy league university. He was handsome except for a small abnormality. He had lost an eye in an accident while he was a toddler. His parents were unable to afford a glass eye and opted...

The Bee Joke

Once, there was a bee who lived in a very complex bee hive. All the bees residing in this hive lived very happily with their own tasks and aspirations. However, this particular bee, named Bart, was quite special. He was an incredibly intelligent bee who matured and learned far faster than his bee pe...

Billy's birthday gift

Little Billy just turned 8. His parents went all out for the party. They rented a bounce house. The cake was three layers. They even hired the best clown in the state. All of Billy's friends from school were there, even some of the older cool kids made it. At the end of the party, when everyone left...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.