UPJOKE
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Male bees die after mating.

That’s basically their life.

Honey.
Nut.
Cherrio.

I remember my uncle giving me my first talk about the birds & the bees.

He said - "Bees make honey & birds lay eggs.

I finally sat down with my teenage daughter and had a chat about "The Birds and the Bees."

I learned a lot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of bees make milk?

Boobies.

Why don't bees go to church?

... because they are in sects

What kind of bees live in America?

US Bees

I went to buy a dozen bees

The beekeeper gave me thirteen.

I said, "Hey, you gave me one too many."

He said, "That's a freebie."

Why do bees have sticky hair?

They use honeycombs

A beekeeper gave me 13 bees instead of 12

“Don’t worry”, she said, “it’s a freebee”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Male bees die after sex.

If they knew beforehand it would be a total buzzkill.

What do you call a Coke bottle full of bees?

A redneck vibrator.

I chose not to put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay...

... because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and started chatting regularly. Every day, sometimes throughout the day. Slowly we learned more about...

did you know that bees are allergic to pollen?

Because when they get exposed to them they develop hives

I went to a beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13.

“Sir, you gave me an extra.” That’s a freebie.

The male bees were unhappy with their lot ...

So they decided to stop fertilizing the Queen. They had the usual demands: larger honey rations, shorter hours, etc. The worker bees tried to negotiate, but it was too late, and the hive never recovered. Thus it became the first beehive destroyed in a drone strike.

What do you call a fat bee?

Chub-bee!

What do you call an even fatter bee?

O-bees!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of Bees produce milk?

There is no creature for which this is more true than the honey bee. Amazingly, queen bees are genetically exactly identical to worker bees. But they’re fed a different diet from worker bees their whole lives, from the time they are tiny larvae, until the day they die. This different meal plan cause...

Bee on the Alert!!! 60,000 Giant bees were recently stolen from a farm in Pennslyvania.

Police have a huge sting operation on their hands.

A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain. “Please doctor you’ve got to help me. I’ve been stung by a bee.”

"Don't worry;" says the doctor, "I'll put some cream on it."

"You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."

"No, you don't understand!" answers the doctor, "I'll put some cream on the place you were stung."

"Oh! It happened in the garden in back of my house."
<...

Among the thousands of bees in a hive, how do you spot the Queen?

She's obeese.

I know you’re wondering… why do bees live huddled together in hives?

‘Swarm

Did you know male bees literally die after they make love.

Yep, it's: Honey-Nut-Cherrio!

I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees

The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over.

“You’ve given me one too many” I said.

“That one is a freebie”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It always bothered me that my tits are small, so I bought some bees and stored them in glasses.

Now i have bee cups.

I asked my father where babies come from. He said son, someday I will tell you about the birds and the bees.

One day I saw a bird eat a bee and never asked again

A man walks into an apiary and asks for a dozen bees.

The beekeeper nods and carefully counts out 13 bees. The man realizes this and points it out, "That’s one too many.”

*"No worries. It’s a freebie."*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what kind of bee that produce milk

Boobees

How do bees let visitors into their apartment building?

They buzzzzz them in.

If I was to date a girl that's really into bees

She's a keeper

Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.

He chews on bees.

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the Arkhives

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do bees have sex?

They do it from BEEhind

What do bees say when they get back to the hive?

Honey! I'm home!

Where do bees learn about pollination?

Plant Parenthood.

My insanely clean Canadian Bee Joke.

My bee joke I crafted myself:
*My Canadian Bee Joke*


My Aussie friend Deidre is an Apiarists. She works with bees. Actually she likes to be called Dee.

She was in Canada recently doing research at a university and she said she noticed that when she describes her interactions w...

If a man has 1,000 bees, then you should marry him right away.

Trust me, he's a keeper.

My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

If you meet a person who own a few thousand bees, marry them.

They're a keeper.

What's the worst thing about carpenter bees and carpenter ants?

They aren't union.

What type of online articles do bees read?

BuzzFeed

Did you know bees become indecisive after April?

They become maybees.

Where do bees go when they want to ride the bus?

A buzz stop!

Did you know that humans, like elephants have evolved a very specific call to warn others about bees they have encountered?

Want to hear what it sounds like?

-


-



-


“BEES!”

why are bees great at games

they are hard to bee-t

A man, a squirrel, and 2 bees are going on a road trip.

On the road, they run out of gas so the man pulls over. One of the bees says, “Don’t worry, I’ll pee in the tank. It’ll get us a little further.” It works, until they run out of gas again.

The second bee steps up and says, “Don’t worry, I’ll pee in the tank. It’ll get us a little further.” I...

Bee

A man walked into a pet shop and asked "can I have a bee please"

Shop assistant said "we don't sell bees"

The man replied "there's one in your window"

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees

Chuck Norris will be 80 in a few hours so post your best Chuck Norris Jokes in the comments!

My boyfriend started a bee farm to help save the bees

I think he's a keeper

Bees and flowers

As little Johnny had become increasingly interested in the girls over the summer, his mom told his dad he should talk to his son about the flowers and bees and such. Dad obligingly took Johnny fishing, and as they sat quietly by the water, he asked:

“So Johnny, you remember last time we went ...

What do you say when bees colonize your chest cavity and start a farm?

Bees till my beating heart.

An entire cult of dead killer bees were found dead.

They are thought to have committed insecticide

Where do bees stay while on vacation?

Air Bee and Bee

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'

'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try ...

I've always found spelling bees easy

B E E S. Simple.

My new girlfriend loves bees.

She's a keeper.

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