Bees Jokes

In the ark hives

The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over.

“You’ve given me one too many” I said.

“That one is a freebie”

Honey. Nut. Cheerio.

Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

ITT: People who want to kill me, people who think I am their dad, more puns about bees, puns about beer, "oh I get it", and "this joke is more like a riddle"

"Swarm."

She's a keeper.

A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain "Please doctor, you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."

**Doctor:** "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."

**Man:** "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."

**Doctor:** "No, you do... read more

Three men walk into a bar, sit down and order three beers. The first man has an iguana on his shoulder, the second man is holding a cat but not wearing any pants, and the third man is covered head-to-toe in bees.

The bartender sets a beer in front of the first man and asks, "What's the deal w... read more

Boo-bees

I think he's a keeper

I'm sorry, but he's a buzzkill.

And says to the shopkeeper:
"I'd like 12 bees please"

The shopkeeper says:
"That's no problem. That'll be €10."

The two exchange the money for the bag of bees. The man checks the bag and says to the shopkeeper:
"Hey, there's 13 bees in this bag?"

The shopkeeper replies:... read more

Because they use honey combs!

So they decided to stop fertilizing the Queen. They had the usual demands: larger honey rations, shorter hours, etc. The worker bees tried to negotiate, but it was too late, and the hive never recovered. Thus it became the first beehive destroyed in a drone strike.

... because they are in sects

A little girl goes to her mother and tells her she learned how babies are made. Her mother asks her what she learned.

"A boy puts his peepee in a girls mouth, and a baby is made."

"Oh, sweetie!" replies the mother, "That's not how babies are made. That's how jewelry is made."

Easy. Just count all their legs and divide by six.

The man bought the bees, went home and began putting the bees into the empty hive; he counted each one to make sure he got his moneys worth but by the end of the gruelling task he realized he had not 50 but 51 bees. He called the seasoned Apiarist and asked why he was given 51 bees when the sale was... read more

It was a freebie

Hannibal Nectar

A MAN was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. At that moment, a bee flew in his window.
"What seems to be the problem?'' asked the bee.
"I'm out of petrol,'' the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire... read more

… they’re not as good as tobacco, but I love the aftertaste.

Swarm.

What did they bee say to his wife when they were running late for dinner?

Hurry up honey.

They prefer to use tinder.

And he told me about my wife and the butcher!

Trust me, he's a keeper.

She's a keeper.

US Bees

At the BP station. (thanks grandma)

The beekeeper nods and carefully counts out 13 bees. The man realizes this and points it out, "That’s one too many.”

*"No worries. It’s a freebie."*

Chuck Norris will be 80 in a few hours so post your best Chuck Norris Jokes in the comments!

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving ... read more

The shopkeeper gave me 13 instead of the 12, I requested.

When I asked him what the last one was for.

He told me it was a *freebie*.

They become maybees.

Police have a huge sting operation on their hands.

Plant Parenthood.

Turns out when exposed to pollen, bees develop hives

As little Johnny had become increasingly interested in the girls over the summer, his mom told his dad he should talk to his son about the flowers and bees and such. Dad obligingly took Johnny fishing, and as they sat quietly by the water, he asked:

“So Johnny, you remember last time we went ... read more

A redneck vibrator.

by a buzz

nice doing beesness with you

Chub-bee!

What do you call an even fatter bee?

O-bees!

They buzzzzz them in.

Yep, it's: Honey-Nut-Cherrio!

they are hard to bee-t

My word was "knot"

I asked if it was "not" spelled with a "K"

My teacher said "Yes it's knot spelled with a k"

I ended up losing

ears

... Then is it safe to say they're into BeeDSM?

He asked the person at the counter for 12 bees. After walking out the store, he notices that he's been given 13 bees by accident.

He walks back in and says “there has been an accident, and you’ve given me 13 bees.”

The Shopkeeper says "No mistake sir, that one is a freebie!"

What do you call the bee that has to take responsibility for the rest of the bees at the end of the night?



Designated drHiver

Air Bee and Bee

Cos they don’t remember the lyrics.

B E E S. Simple.

She's a keeper

He said - "Bees make honey & birds lay eggs.

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