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Homophobic Jokes

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My priest is surprisingly homophobic...

...for a man who spends his nights on his knees, begging for another man to come for a second time.

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What is a homophobic child's worst nightmare?

A monster coming out of the closet!

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A homophobic guy walks into a bar and immediately orders 3 double shots of whiskey.

Bartender: "Wow, that's a hefty order."
Guy: "Yeah, I just got terrible news that my brother has turned gay..."
Bartender gives the guy his 3 shots and leaves him alone.

-Next day-
The same guy enters the bar and again, orders the same drinks.
Bartender: "Still not over ...

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I’m not homophobic or anything but...

Gays are a pain in the ass

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I'm so homophobic,

I eat my hotdogs sideways.

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I'm homophobic the same way in arachnophobic..

I don't hate spiders or homosexuals but id still scream if I seen one in the bath.

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The Homophobics in my apartment building have been boycotting the elevators.

They found out elevators go both ways.

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America is so racist and homophobic

That people even want their teeth to be straight and white.

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I just found out my wife is homophobic.

You should have seen how mean she was when I introduced her to my boyfriend…

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My art teacher has been rather homophobic lately...

She wants everything to be straight

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Whenever I see a man wearing a skirt, I run away.

It’s not that I’m homophobic, I’m just afraid he’ll start to play the bagpipes.

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I've never understood why homophobics wore clothes

because clothes come out of the closet and that's gay

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I feel sorry for homophobic people

Imagine being scared of your own home

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Why do people in the Middle-East tend to be homophobic?

They have had bad experiences with mandates.

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American conservatives are pretty homophobic

for people so proud of their four fathers

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I know how to defeat Thanos

We need to pull up his homophobic tweets from 2009.

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A black Christian man and a white Jewish man walk into a bar...

"That's racist!"

Okay, so a Christian man and a Jewish man walk into a bar...

"That's religionist!"

Okay, so two men walk into a bar...

"That's sexist!"

Okay, so a man and a woman walk into a bar...

"That's homophobic!"

Okay, so two people walk into a...

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Define Homophobic

having or showing a dislike of or prejudice against homophones and homonyms

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What do you call a homophobic hobo?

Homoless

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In the South, we value diversity.

We want you to feel included, whether you're homophobic, Islamophobic, or just a racist.

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I'm beginning to think my girlfriend might be homophobic...

She reacted *very poorly* last night when I came out to her...

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My mum asked, "Are you homophobic?"

I said, "No I'm not afraid of my house."

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Did you hear about the homophobic firefighter?

He only put out camp fires.

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The Princess of Potatoes has to marry

King Tater instructs his daughter to choose a noble potato to wed.

The princess says, "Father, I have chosen. I want to marry Rachel Maddow."

"I WON'T HAVE IT!" yells King Tater in a fury.

"But Father, I never knew you would be homophobic," said the princess.

"It's not ...

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What starts with G, ends with Y, and is something you really wouldn't want your son to be?

Grumpy, you homophobic fucks.

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I think I might be homophobic..

... every time my boyfriend cums on my back, it just slides right off!

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I used to think I was homophobic.

It turns out that I was just afraid of monsters in the closet.

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As a homophobic, racist paedophile I can safely say...

Nothing.

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What is white and hurts a homophobic man if it lands on him?

An airplane

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I hate disappointing people in general. So instead of telling my boss I’m gonna quit...

I’ve been tweeting homophobic and racist epithets for 8 months now, but sadly I’m still here.

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When I came out to my dad, he was surprisingly supportive!

He's not homophobic or anything, it's just the closest he's ever come to child support.

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An old grandma is taking care of her grandson for the summer before he leaves for college...

One day, the boy brings a male friend home, seeming to be very secretive about their activities, but the grandmother doesn't think much of it.

She understands why they are secretive; her son and daughter-in-law are peculiarly homophobic. She doesn't agree with that and wishes to tell her gran...

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So a vegan crossfitter and a homophobic priest simultaneously walk in to a bar..

Then they both went to the hospital for head wounds.

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I've seen a LGBT activist publish phones and home addresses of homophobic straight people on the Internet.

Needless to say, I found his approach somewhat heterodox.

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Trump and Pence are so homophobic ...

... they couldn't get a mandate.

HAHAHA! A lot of people are going to die in the next 4 years.

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A Cuban, a Canadian, and a homophobic walk into a bar

The bartender says, "What'll it be, Senator Cruz?"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because he's homophobic.

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It must be hard being homophobic

Imagine being terrified of the place where you live?

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How many homophobic people does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, they are scared off change even if it makes the world a bit brighter.

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