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Discrimination Jokes

An atom walks into a bar...

The bartender says "For you, no charge"

The ion next to him says "That's discrimination!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's discrimination!

I see kids bouncing balls and riding bikes down isles at Walmart, but does anyone stop them, heck no! They can play with anything they want to!

But for some reason *I've* been banned from the ladies underwear department.

Dummy

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde...

The Washington Redskins are changing the team name because of all the negativity, shame, humiliation, dissent, polarity, adversity, defiance, animosity, contempt, discrimination, division, counter-productivity and hostility associated with their name.

....from now on they will be known simply as the Redskins.

I asked a librarian if there are any books on discrimination against people in wheelchairs.

She replied "Yes, it's up the stairs, on the top shelf to the left."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm from Cape Breton Island, what that means is I face a lot of discrimination. People assume I'm an incestuous, alcoholic, wife beating, fish fucker.

I'll have you know I've never hit my sister once.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Discrimination

Three first-graders are flunking their class. The teacher calls them in and tells them: "I will ask you one question each, if you can answer it, you pass."

"Jim, how do you spell 'Cow'?"

"Jack, how do you spell 'Car'?"

"Muhammad, how do you spell 'Racial discrimination'?"

Once we meet intelligent extraterrestrials, discrimination will get a whole new dimension

Just for you to know, I am on your side, you are my species!

An englishman was sued for discrimination after firing all the redheads from his strip club.

He was able to get off Scot-free.

Obama care is religious discrimination

We shouldn’t try to prevent Americans from being Sikh!

Weight discrimination and fat-shaming are a real problem in our society. Do you know what the worst source of fat-shaming is?

A mirror.

My boyfriend told me he refuses to date girls named Rachel....

....I accused him of Rachel discrimination.

Dwarf enters the library

"One book on discrimination of dwarves, please." - says the dwarf


"Third row..." - replies the librarian - "top shelf."

A teacher asks three children what they did during recess

She first asks Sally what she did at recess. Sally said she played in the sandbox. “Excellent!” the teacher says. “If you can write "sand" on the blackboard, I'll give you a cookie." Sally writes Sand and gets her cookie.

The teacher then asks Tim what he did during recess. He said he played ...

Kids get back into the classroom after playing at recess

and the teacher says, “who can tell me what they did at recess?” Sally raises her hand and says, “I played in the sandbox.” “That sounds like fun, Sally! If you can correctly spell sand, I will give you a cookie, replied the teacher.

“Sand, S.A.N.D. Sand” said Sally with a smile.

“Cor...

A group of first graders come in from recess

Once they all sat down the teacher grabbed a piece a chalk and walked to the chalkboard. "Jimmy, what did you do for recess?" Jimmy replied, "I played in the sandbox." "Very good, the teacher said, If you can come to the board and spell sand I will give you a cookie". Jimmy approaches the board and ...

What do you call discrimination against erasers?

Erase-ism

Stopped from going into a bar, dis is discrimination.

A brain and a jumper cable walked up to the bar, "I'm sorry , I can't serve you guys " said the barman,
Why? said the brain,

You're outta youre head and he is going to start something.

A teacher calls her first grade class

from recess. She goes up to little Sally and asked, "Sally, what did you do at recess?" "I played in the sand box." "Good. Now, if you can spell the word 'sand' on the black board, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." So she spells the word right and gets a cookie. Then comes in little Billy. "Billy...

A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess...

The teacher tells the class they're going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. "If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you'll get a gold star for the day," the teacher explains. "Tommy, what'd you do for recess?" she asks the first student. ...

What is Donald Trump's favourite nation?

Discrimination

*At the library*

“Do you have a book about the discrimination of dwarves?”

“Left corner, on the top shelf!”

At recess, all the children are playing outside.

Little Mohammed goes to the swings and asks Little Jack if he can play on the swings too.

"No, go away," replied Little Jack. "You're different and weird."

A bit shaken, Little Mohammed goes to ask Little Suzie if he can play with her on the monkey bars.

"No thanks, I'd rather n...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just wrote this poem

Everyone gather together

Put aside what you are doing

See this lyric, feel the weather

Take a second for the viewing.

Everyone gather together

In this house we all are one.

No discrimination, son.

Did I say a house we're in?

It's a prostitution...

Why is Ahmed Mohammed not allowed on Reddit?

His inbox would probably blow up.

A blonde walks into an appliance store.

She asks the clerk " Hi, how much is that pink Television?" the clerk replies "Sorry, but we don't sell to blondes". She screams discrimination but eventually accepts defeat and walks out.She dyes her hair black, wears sunglasses and goes back the next day, "What's the price for that pink Television...

A teacher addresses her students after they've come back from lunch

She lays out the agenda for the lesson:

"Alright everyone, I'm going to ask each of you what you did during lunch. I'll them ask you to write something on the board related to what you did - if you spell the word correctly, you'll get a biscuit."

The children all seem quite excited by ...

A Military General Joking About Marines

This happened earlier today at a patriotic chapel service (could be the joke in itself)

Marine: \*walks into store in full uniform\* Hello, I'd like to purchase that TV set.

Employee: We are sorry sir, but I won't sell that to a marine.

Marine: This is outrageous and unfair. I w...

In school the teacher asks Joshua what he did during the break.

Joshua answers "I was playing with Thomas in the sand box". The teacher replies "Then come to the front, write sand on the blackboard and if you write it correctly you can go home."
After that the teacher asks Thomas what he did during the break and Thomas replies "I was in the sand box playing ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mohammed goes to school....

The children were returning to class after playtime.

The first child into class was Jack.
''Jack,'' said the teacher, ''what did you do this playtime?''
''I was playing in the sandpit,'' replied Jack.
''How fun! If you can spell 'sand' on the board, you can have a cookie!''
Jack s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know what the toughest part about being a gay, black, police officer is?

The discrimination.

I got arrested for open carrying at a quadriplegic convention.

Honestly, it was blatant discrimination. They kept saying I was two armed.

Modern Bible Stories: American Noah's Ark

…..And the Lord spoke to Noah and said:
” In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed, but I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark.”
In a...

A first grade teacher was giving a cookie to each student who spelt a word right

"Well little John" she said. "Can you spell Pig?"

"P-I-G" John said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher said. She then went to the next student.

"Hi little Susan" she said. "Can you spell Cow?"

"C-O-W" Susan said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

GameStop celebrates Pride and it seems fitting.

GameStop is Pansexual: Fucks everyone without any discrimination.

You Can Go Home Early

Kindergarten teacher is teaching her class on the last day of summer term. She decides to let some of the kids go home for the holidays early as a treat. She first asks Ben what he did at lunch time.

 

Ben says he played football with Tyler. The teacher says that if Ben can s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer walks into a bar...

Mr. Jones, the lawyer, walked into a bar. The bartender poured him a drink, then noticed Mr. Jones had a black eye. “What happened to you?” asked the bartender. “You look like you’ve been in a fight.”

“It’s been just an awful day at work, I tell you what.” said Mr. Jones. “I don’t even work i...

A blonde walks into an electronics store...

and asks the manager, "How much is this TV?"

The manager says to her, "We don't sell to blondes". Furious, the blonde storms back to her home, where she threw on a black wig. She then goes back to the same store and asks the same manager, "How much is this TV?"

Once again, the manager ...

Spelling Bee

It's cup final day and three boys in the class want to go home early to watch the match.

The teacher decides to hold a spelling bee and allow the boys who spell their words correctly to leave school for the day to see their team.

Tommy, spell dog for me please.

Easy sir, D-O-G.<...

God sacrificed his son for his love of humans

And we all seem to be cool with it. But when **I** try to sacrifice my son for my love of humans, I get arrested and imprisoned.

I'm starting to see some discrimination going on here...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jewish man walks onto a plane.

His seat on his ticket is in the middle of a Christian and a Muslim man. Looking towards history, these groups of religions haven't tolerated each other, but the Jewish man does not believe in discrimination! He sits next to them, and decides to make conversation. He turns to the Christian man and a...

Spelling practice

It is spelling lesson. The teacher asks the kids to spell different words.
-Emma, can you spell 'dog'?
-D O G
-Correct! Jake, can you spell 'cat'?
-C A T
-Correct! Now, Ahmed, can you spell 'racial discrimination'?

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