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Hitmen Jokes

Why do Hitmen have trouble maintaining steady relationships?

Because their dates are always afraid of being taken out.

How much money do hitmen make?

A killing

What do hitmen eat for dinner

Takeout

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do asexuals make the best hitmen?

Because you never see them coming.

Why do anti-vaxxers make bad hitmen?

Because they can never take the shot!

Efficient hitmen are often very friendly and supportive.

They leave nobody behind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do virgins make the best hitmen?

No one ever sees them cumming

Sunglasses manufacturers and Hitmen have something in common.

They are both into shady business

Two Mafia hitmen are walking through the forest at night when one of them says

"I have to admit, it's pretty scary out here." The other replies, "You think this is bad? I have to walk back alone."

I heard due to the pandemic jobs of all types have been affected. Even employment rates for hitmen are down 75 percent...

On the bright side, demand for ninja assassins is through the roof!

Someone I know went to a very expensive, exclusive private school.

These kids are so rich, they hire hitmen to do their school shootings.

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