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Hiding Behind Jokes

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A mother comes home from work to find that her kids are hiding behind the couch. She asks what's wrong, and the kids reply that Aunt Sally was in the house naked.

So she goes to her bedroom to investigate, and she finds her husband lying on the bed naked and sweaty. She asks, "What's going on?" He replies, "I'm having a heart attack."

She says "I'm going to call 911" and runs to the bathroom to get an aspirin. In the bathroom closet however, she disco...

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I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said, "Morning."

He replied, "No, just having a shit."

Why do you never see an elephant hiding behind a tree?

Because they’re very good at it

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Rolf Harris called the prison governor over to see his latest work of art, a dusk scene of the Aussie outback with kangaroo, leaping its way toward two aboriginal huntsmen hiding behind a rockpile.

The governor took one look and announced "That's shit, that is."

"I know." Replied Rolf. "But if you'd let me have paints..."

Scientists finally located the gene that causes shyness

It was hiding behind two other genes.

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Little Red Riding Hood sets out to go visit her grandmother, who lives in another village

As she's walking on the forest road, she sees the big, bad wolf hiding behind a shrub. She stops and says:

\-My, what big red eyes you have!

The wolf looks at her and leaves without saying a word, disappearing in the dense forest. Little red riding hood continues walking on the same fo...

A blonde, a brunette and a red head rob a bank....

A blonde, a brunette and a red head rob a bank. As they are running out carrying their stolen goods, the police begin to chase them down an alleyway.

Running down the alley, the robbers find three large sacks of potatoes to hide behind. "Quick!" said the brunette, hide behind here!"

Th...

3 zombies were hungry...

3 zombies were hungry and one of them said "I will be back in a minute" minute later he came back with blood stains on his mouth. Other 2 asked "how did that happen?"
He replied:
"Do you see that pole?"
-"Yes."
"There was a man hiding behind it and I ate him."
Second zombie said "I w...

In a dangerous situation, I'd always put my children first.

I do this because I have a crippling habit of hiding behind my mistakes.

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Forest Man

A lowly farmer was farming and minding his own business when a worried neighbour came by to give him a warning.

"There has been a wild Forest Man seen in the forest. He has little beady red eyes, and hair all over. Be careful, he might be dangerous"

The farmer shrugged and continued w...

Medical joke (short)

Scientists have found the gene that makes people shy. They found it hiding behind another gene.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Red Riding Hood is traveling to her grandmother's house...

... as she went skipping through the woods, she saw a big bad wolf hiding behind a tree, she yelled, "hey big bad wolf, I see you there!". The wolf ran away.

A little while later, she was skipping across the bridge crossing the river, and she saw a big bad wolf hiding under the bridge, she ye...

A man was tracking down a chemistry teacher...

A man was tracking down a chemistry teacher who owed him money. He arrived at the school lab and found the teacher hiding behind a desk. The man reached for the nearest container, labeled CaCl2, threw it at the chemistry teacher, and yelled, "Where is my money?!"

The chemistry teacher held up...

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A leperchaun and a bastard.

So there's this guy out golfing, and he looks over at his cart and he sees there's a leperchaun hiding behind it. He gets really excited and sneaks up behind him and catches him.

"Alright, you sneaky little bastard, now you owe me 3 wishes."
The leperchaun obliged, but warned the man "Ok, ...

A mathematician, an engineer, and a statistician are hunting deer...

Hiding behind a fallen tree, they see a buck at the other end of the field. The mathematician takes out his rifle, aims, and fires. The bullet misses twenty feet to the left.

The engineer takes out her rifle, aims, adjusts for the wind, and fires. The bullet misses twenty feet to the right. ...

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[NSFW] A man is riding the bus when at a stop, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen gets on.

The only problem is that she is a nun. He decides to approach her anyway. "Sister, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I must have sex with you." he says.

"I'm sorry but I've given my body to God" she replies and then leaves.

Suddenly the bus driver turns around to th...

Two boys where walking in the woods...

When they came across a beautiful girl bathing naked in a lake. Hiding behind a tree watching when out of nowhere one boy takes off running towards home. When the other boy finally catches up to him he says " why the hell did you run? " so the other boy says " my momma always told me if I looked at ...

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