UPJOKE
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Once upon a time 2 kids were playing hide and seek

Their names were Shut Up, and Trouble. It was Trouble's turn to seek, so Shut Up went and ran into his neighbor's yard. His neighbor went onto his front lawn, upon seeing Shut Up he asked "what's your name, and why are you on my property?" to which Shut Up calmly replied, "Shut Up"

Neighbor: ...

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What do premature ejaculators and hide and seek have in common?

Ready or not, here I come

I was playing hide and seek at the hospital...

I kept ending up in ICU.

Why do women over 30 stop playing hide and seek?

Because nobody is looking for them.

Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek together

Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek together.

It's Einstein's turn to count, and he closes his eyes. After counting to 10, Pascal runs away and hides.

Newton, on the other hand, very calmly draws a square on the ground, 1 meter on each side, in front of the place that Einste...

Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.

Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.

Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He’s sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.

Einstein says “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve f...

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Sex with me is a lot like hide and seek

I count down from 10 and shout “Ready or not, here I come”.

Me and dad went outside to play hide and seek

It's been 17 years and I still can't find him.

My dad and I play hide and seek a lot to beat each other's record. My record is 2 hours until he found me.

His record is 20 years and still counting.

As a kid I got no respect , I played hide and seek

They wouldn't even look for me

It is impossible to play hide and seek in an airport

You’re always hiding in plane sight

3 reasons why my parents are bad at hide and seek.

1. They always hide in their bedroom.
2. They make too much noise.
3. my dad takes a pill that makes him think he is invisible and proceeds to take off his clothes

A father and his son are playing Hide and Seek...

To make sure his father doesn't peek while counting, the son goes to get something to blindfold his father with. As he begins to tie the fabric around his father's closed eyes, the father comments, "Oh! Whatever you're using, it feels so soft and smells so clean!"

"It's a tie, Dad."

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal play hide and seek.

Einstein starts counting to ten.
Pascal runs to a nearby bush and hides.
Newton stands right behind Einstein, takes out a chalk, and draws a perfect one meter by one meter square on the ground around himself.

As Einstein reaches 10, he says,
"Ready or not, I'm coming to you! Or...

Scientists Play Hide-and-Seek

All the great scientists throughout history are brought together for a game of hide and seek. They draw straws and Einstein is "it" first. He starts counting back from 100 as all the other great minds run hither and thither looking to hide. Newton runs over to the bushes but Heisenberg is already ...

I tried to join the local hide and seek club today

But I couldn't find them

I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament but it's really difficult... Good players are hard to find."

but it's really difficult... Good players are hard to find

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A game of hide and seek

4 brothers were playing a game of hide and seek; Manners, None of your business, Shit and Trouble.
Manners, being the oldest, is elected as the seeker. Not long after finishing counting, he finds None of your business and Shit. Trouble, the youngest of the brothers, is noted as the best hide and ...

Why radio lovers love to play hide and seek?

Because **RADIO OR NOT** here i come!



(Okay, that wasn't quite good)

What do you say to a kid in a wheelchair before playing hide and seek?

You can hide but you can't run

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What’s the difference between sex and hide and seek?

Hide and seek I can count to ten before shouting, “I’m coming ready or not!”

Hide-and-seek with physicists

One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of hide and seek. Einstein volunteered to be “It.” As Einstein counted, eyes closed, to 100, Pascal ran away and hid, but Newton stood right in front of Einstein and drew a one meter by one meter square on the floor around himse...

2 Boys decided to play hide and seek

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and b...

Hide and Seek

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"


Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the b...

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Three kids play hide and seek..

One named Fuck You, one named Respect and one named Trouble.
They decide Trouble will count to twenty and Fuck You and Respect will hide.
Respect hide under a car and Fuck You is hiding on a tall tree.
An officer walks and sees Fuck You, he tells him “Hey kid! Get down here before you’ll fa...

Albert Einstein, Issac Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek...

They play rock-paper-scissors to choose the seeker. A. Einstein is left so he has to be te seeker. He starts counting down from 10.

Pascal hides in a bush bearby, but Newton remains in plain sight. He draws a square with an area of 1m^2 and stays in it.

Einstein's countdown ends. 3.......

Have you heard about the champion of hide and seek?

Me Neither

Why did Loki throw a tantrum when he couldn't find his brother during a game of hide and seek?

Because he was a Thor loser

Moron and Trouble are playing hide and seek

Moron goes and hide behind a police car. The ploice officer asks: "What is your name kid?" "Moron" says moron. To which the officer awnsers: "are you looking for trouble?" "No, sir. Trouble's looking for me!

I signed up for "Hide and Seek" championship

I forgot all about it, I won first prize

A blond and two brown haired girls are playing hide and seek

The first girl hides in a dog crate with a towel over it when the it comes by she says woof woof the it goes right by the second girl hides in a cat crate and when the it goes by she says meow meow the blond hides in a potato sack and when the it comes by she screams POTATO NOISES.

My Dad's a pro at Hide and Seek.

It's been 20 years since I last saw him.

Newton, Pascal and Einstein go to play hide and seek...

Newton, Pascal and Einstein go to play hide and seek. Einstein became the seeker, so Newton and Pascal ran to find their hiding spots. Einstein finished counting and went to search. He saw Newton still lingering around.

Einstein: "You're it!"

Newton: "No. I am Newton who is upon a 1 m^...

Archimedes, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

It's Arcimedes' turn to seek and so he starts counting down.

Pascal quickly runs off to some bushes nearby.

Newton starts walking, stops thinks for a while and them draws a large rectangle around himself in the dirt.

The time is up and Archimedes turns around: "Found you, Newton...

Jesus must be horrible at hide and seek

People keep on finding him

I am the best hide and seek player in the world!

I played a game of hide and seek with my 3 kids and ex-wife 10 years ago. I hid and they still haven't been able to find me.

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I was playing hide and seek with the kids last night and the power went out.

I hunted around for my flashlight but could only find my fleshlight.

Oh well, at least they never saw me cumming.

Why is Caitlyn Jenner’s dad so good at hide and seek?

He’s trans-parent!

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton and Blaise Pascal were playing hide and seek in heaven..

It was Einstein's turn to find them.

Pascal went and hide behind the bushes.

But Newton just stood on a 1M *1M tile..

Einstein came out and shouted "Newton, you are out!"

Newton replied " No, actually you are out, as I am Pascal"

Einstein: "Elaborate..."

"As...

Playing hide and seek with my three year old son is easy.

It’s been 15 years and he still hasn’t found me!

[Nsfw] My uncle liked to play hide and seek with me

I called it naked and afraid

Newton, Galileo and Pascal were playing hide and seek...

...Pascal taps Galileo and decides he is seeking before running to hide. Galileo begins to count. Newton grabs a piece of chalk from his pocket because all scientists have pieces of chalk in their pocket and proceeds to draw a square with 1m dimensions around him. By the time he is done Galileo turn...

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What did the man who suffers with premature ejaculation say whilst playing hide and seek?

Ready or not, here I cum!

What do you call a skeleton in a closet?

International hide and seek champion 1954

What is a dog’s favorite place to go for hide and seek?

***ROOF***

All scientists in heaven were playing hide and seek...

It was Einstein's turn to seek, so he went to a corner and started counting down from ten. All other scientists ran away hurriedly, except Newton.

Newton calmly took out a piece of chalk from his pocket and drew a square on the ground with each side one metre long. As soon as Einstein was ab...

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I was playing a big game of hide and seek when I went camping with a big group.

We were devided in teams of two and we had to stay hidden in a big forrest for as long as possible. I was put in a team with my little brother. After searching for a good spot we eventually settled in a watchtower.

We agreed that one person stood watch and the other could rest. My brother be...

Which classical composer is best at playing hide and seek?

Haydn. [OC]

My earliest memory of my mother is playing hide and seek with her, I would be sat peering out of the oven window and she would say...

"Your getting warmer"...

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