UPJOKE
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Pro-Tip: If a girl in a hot bikini DMs you about crypto

Ignore him.

Have you heard of NVIDIA's new crypto graphics card?

It's the 4090 FTX.

It only has one massive meltdown and you have to send it to the bahamas for repair.

Crypto exchange FTX goes to Chapter 11...

With a CEO called **Bankman-Fried**, it was to be expected

If you're having crypto problems, I feel bad for you son.

I've got 99 dollars but a bit ain't one

I got myself a Crypto wallet and surfed the Dark Web, seeing what illicit "goods and services" were available, if you know what I mean?.

Chuffed to bits. Managed to get an appointment with a GP.

Did you hear about the Twink who got into crypto?

He heard it was a Bear market

Please only buy crypto during the day…

Otherwise, it will be your crypto-night

Chuck Norris mines crypto currency

by hand.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman went to a Halloween party

Someone was dressed as a Bitcoin.

Someone dressed as a Dogecoin.

Someone else dressed asEthereum.

Superman was pissed.

He didn't realize it was gonna be a Crypto night.

Most people call it grave robbing...

I prefer to call it crypto-currency

Clark Kent looked ill when I invited him to our Bitcoin trading party after work.

I wonder if he has an aversion to Crypto Night.

Did you hear about the vampire who got into crypto?

Got killed when he tried staking.

What do you call investing your partners paycheck into a crypto currency they don't like?

Passive aggressive income

I was trying to explain how crypto investment works to my dad.

Today he removed my name from his will and transferred all his property under my name to his name.

How many crypto miners does it take to change a light bulb?

A hundred thousand!

One miner to change it, and 99,999 to determine who gets the credit.

What’s the easiest way to become a cryptocurrency millionaire?

>!Start as a cryptocurrency billionaire and hodl. !<

dad, can i have 1 crypto please?

what?

you want $5,47?

what you want to do with $17,56?

do you realize that $200,94 is alot of money?

here $7,32 for you

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each...

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of ...

Your girlfriend is like cryptos..

She goes down on me when least expected.

"Dad, are you planning on getting me a gift for my birthday?"

"Of course, but your mother and I would like to get you something you will enjoy, what is it you want?"


"Well, crypto is hot - how about a Bitcoin."


"A Bitcoin? Sheesh, those things cost $45,237! Do you know how long it takes me to earn $31,479? Some day you'll have a job y...

After many years of fighting crime as batman

Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.

All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the ...

Superman and Bitcoin

### Batman invited all the superheroes to an evening discussing bitcoin investments

Superman didn't go because it was a crypto-night.

How do you get a hardcore crypto technical analyst off your front porch?

Pay him for the pizza

Is this Punny to you ??

So once Superman gets invited to a themed party over the weekend....
So Superman enters this party place and starts feeling damn weak and uneasy...
Someone is dressed as Bitcoin
Someone is dressed as Ethereum
Someone is dressed as DogeCoin
Someone is dressed as Ripple...
.
.
...

That's it! I'm buying Omicron.

I'll be damned if I let another crypto opportunity slip away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Smart home

is the one that quietly connects to neighbors wi-fi and power grid at night, then mines crypto currency to pay for its own mortgage. And not all that bullshit they advertise on tv.

How do crypto traders call no nut november?

HODL it

I finally have quit gambling...

I do cryptos now.

Superman would have hated Elon Musk as much as Lex Luthor..

because Elon loves his Crypto.

Even though he had cash, why couldn't Superman pay his bar tab?

Because it was Crypto-Night.

What do you call people who secretly give away their Bitcoins?

Crypto-communists.

A wave of crime is sweeping Metropolis. Superman is helpless to stop the instigator, a code-breaking enthusiast dressed in full plate armour.

Can no one save us from the Crypto-Knight?

Don't know about you guys but I invested in Crypto and I'm laughing all the way to the bank

^^where ^^I ^^will ^^keep ^^my ^^money ^^from ^^now ^^on..

Superman is useless on Wednesday evening because he goes to a weekly Bitcoin meet up.

It's his Crypto-night.

Why does Superman only daytrade bitcoin?

Because he can’t go near crypto@night

A sufficiently advanced society has synthesized all human knowledge

in pill form. So an undergraduate goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist if he has history, economics, and literature. The pharmacist disappears into the back. When he returns, he has three little boxes and says

"Here, take this purple one for all of human history—from the origins all...

When the sun sets every evening, Superman moves all his Bitcoin investments into a regular mutual fund.

He tries to protect himself from Crypto night.

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