UPJOKE
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Pro-Tip: If a girl in a hot bikini DMs you about crypto

Ignore him.

Please only buy crypto during the day…

Otherwise, it will be your crypto-night

How do you get a million dollars in crypto investing?

Start with ten million.

A boy asked his Crypto-investing dad for $10.00 worth of Shiba Inu currency..

Dad: $16.57? What do you need $3.28 for?

Have you heard of NVIDIA's new crypto graphics card?

It's the 4090 FTX.

It only has one massive meltdown and you have to send it to the bahamas for repair.

How many crypto miners does it take to change a light bulb?

A hundred thousand!

One miner to change it, and 99,999 to determine who gets the credit.

How many crypto miners does it take to change a lightbulb?

A thousand. One to change the lightbulb and the other 999 to verify

How do you make a small fortune in crypto?

Start with a large one.

After years of Investing and Careful Trading I finally have a Six figure Portfolio thanks to Crypto.

Current Balance: $10.0001

Chuck Norris mines crypto currency

by hand.

What happened after the U.S. imposed the death penalty for banking-related crypto fraud?

Bank-Man fried!

Where can you find Snoop Dogs crypto

At the end of his Crip foot

If you're having crypto problems, I feel bad for you son.

I've got 99 dollars but a bit ain't one

Crypto exchange FTX goes to Chapter 11...

With a CEO called **Bankman-Fried**, it was to be expected

I got myself a Crypto wallet and surfed the Dark Web, seeing what illicit "goods and services" were available, if you know what I mean?.

Chuffed to bits. Managed to get an appointment with a GP.

Did you hear about the Twink who got into crypto?

He heard it was a Bear market

I was trying to explain how crypto investment works to my dad.

Today he removed my name from his will and transferred all his property under my name to his name.

dad, can i have 1 crypto please?

what?

you want $5,47?

what you want to do with $17,56?

do you realize that $200,94 is alot of money?

here $7,32 for you

How do you get a hardcore crypto technical analyst off your front porch?

Pay him for the pizza

How do crypto traders call no nut november?

HODL it

A wealthy man walks into a bar...

*I've seen a joke here about a man with* ***a head the size of an orange*** *which is an absurdist response to an old dirty joke. I'm not sure everyone knows the original. I'll put the anti-joke version in the comments.*

\--------------

A wealthy man walks into a bar. He is clearly ric...

Your girlfriend is like cryptos..

She goes down on me when least expected.

Financial Advice

With inflation at 7.5%, you lose half your money in 9 years. The only way to outperform that consistently, that I have found, is crypto. Just this year I've already lost half my money.

"Dad, are you planning on getting me a gift for my birthday?"

"Of course, but your mother and I would like to get you something you will enjoy, what is it you want?"


"Well, crypto is hot - how about a Bitcoin."


"A Bitcoin? Sheesh, those things cost $45,237! Do you know how long it takes me to earn $31,479? Some day you'll have a job y...

Superman and Bitcoin

### Batman invited all the superheroes to an evening discussing bitcoin investments

Superman didn't go because it was a crypto-night.

Clark Kent looked ill when I invited him to our Bitcoin trading party after work.

I wonder if he has an aversion to Crypto Night.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman went to a Halloween party

Someone was dressed as a Bitcoin.

Someone dressed as a Dogecoin.

Someone else dressed asEthereum.

Superman was pissed.

He didn't realize it was gonna be a Crypto night.

So I matched with a beautiful girl on Tinder

The good news is she didn’t try to get me to join her Onlyfans.


The even better news is she’s going to help me start investing in crypto!

Most people call it grave robbing...

I prefer to call it crypto-currency

After many years of fighting crime as batman

Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.

All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the ...

Why does Superman hate trading Bitcoin after 7pm?

Because it's Crypto-night

Don't know about you guys but I invested in Crypto and I'm laughing all the way to the bank

^^where ^^I ^^will ^^keep ^^my ^^money ^^from ^^now ^^on..

Is this Punny to you ??

So once Superman gets invited to a themed party over the weekend....
So Superman enters this party place and starts feeling damn weak and uneasy...
Someone is dressed as Bitcoin
Someone is dressed as Ethereum
Someone is dressed as DogeCoin
Someone is dressed as Ripple...
.
.
...

That's it! I'm buying Omicron.

I'll be damned if I let another crypto opportunity slip away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Smart home

is the one that quietly connects to neighbors wi-fi and power grid at night, then mines crypto currency to pay for its own mortgage. And not all that bullshit they advertise on tv.

Superman would have hated Elon Musk as much as Lex Luthor..

because Elon loves his Crypto.

Even though he had cash, why couldn't Superman pay his bar tab?

Because it was Crypto-Night.

I finally have quit gambling...

I do cryptos now.

Superman is useless on Wednesday evening because he goes to a weekly Bitcoin meet up.

It's his Crypto-night.

What’s the easiest way to become a cryptocurrency millionaire?

>!Start as a cryptocurrency billionaire and hodl. !<

How do you get $1000 in cryptocurrency?

Invest $2000

Why does Superman only daytrade bitcoin?

Because he can’t go near crypto@night

A sufficiently advanced society has synthesized all human knowledge

in pill form. So an undergraduate goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist if he has history, economics, and literature. The pharmacist disappears into the back. When he returns, he has three little boxes and says

"Here, take this purple one for all of human history—from the origins all...

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each...

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of th...

When the sun sets every evening, Superman moves all his Bitcoin investments into a regular mutual fund.

He tries to protect himself from Crypto night.

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