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Handlebars Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old man Sitting on his front porch. (Long)

One afternoon he see a kid ride past on his bike with a roll of chicken wire. The old guy asks: "Where are you heading with that chicken wire son?"

"I'm gonna catch me some chickens down at the park".

"You don't catch chickens with chicken wire"

The old feller shakes his head ...

A customs officer at the Mexican border noticed a man coming across one day on a bicycle with two small sacks tied to the handlebars...

Naturally, he got suspicious and asked him to open the sacks, but when he did he found nothing but sand.

Each time he'd stop the bicycle and open the sacks, and he'd find only sand. He had the sand analyzed at the lab and looked at the sack under a microscope he could never find anything wron...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As you grow up, your top proud moment in life is when you can ride your bike without holding onto any handlebars. Your next proudest moment is when...

you can stick your dick in without using any hands. It gets second place because you can't shout out, "Look ma, no hands!"

My friend made a motorbike entirely out of wood...

It had wooden wheels, wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden brakes, wooden handlebars...
I asked him if he had taken it for a ride
He said: Wooden start

What does a duck and a tricycle have in common?

They both have handlebars except the duck.

A priest is riding a bicycle no-handed

A cop stops a priest in the street while he was riding his bicycle handless, the cop tells him that he had to pay a fine of $100 because riding without holding the handlebars wasn't allowed.

The priest looks at him and tells him: "I don't need to hold the handlebars, because god is holding t...

Since everyone knows he cheated, Lance Armstrong will only drink at home now.

He just can’t handlebars anymore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

the devils daughter

The devil had a very beautiful daughter, but because of her patronage, she was very lonely. she begged her father to bring her a man that would love her. he agreed on the condition that she hide her horns, so she wouldn't scare off her potential suitors. the devil brought three men to meet his daug...

A man is sitting in a new sports car when a little girl pulls up beside him on her new bicycle she just received for Christmas.

She knocks on his window, which he rolls down to see what she wants.

"Wanna race, mister?" she asks, ringing her bell and twirling the elastic streamers on her handlebars.

"Sure," the man laughs. The light turns green and he floors the pedal. The car takes off like a shot and he leaves...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) Three guys are hanging out together at a house. One is white, one is black, and one is Mexican. After doing a couple lines of coke, they are all revved up and horny. The white guy says “hey we should get a hooker and we can take turns for a little entertainment”

The other two guys agree this is a great idea and so the white guy makes a phone call to a pimp. Ten minutes later, a prostitute arrives.

After a few minutes of discussion, the white guy says “well I paid for her so I’m going first”. The other two guys, while annoyed, agree to this.

T...

A father has a 8 year old kid named Jimmy that was always too afraid to ride a bike.

The dad says to Jimmy “Today is the day that you learn to ride a bike”
Jimmy responds “Dad, you know I can’t”
His dad replies with “Jimmy you have to learn how to ride a bike”
Jimmy refused to attempt it so his dad literally picked him up and put him on a bike. The dad was persistent in try...

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