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Stormtrooper Jokes

Why do Stormtroopers only have iPhones?

Because they couldn't find the Androids they were looking for!

A stormtrooper just got sent to the firing squad.

He will be missed.

[OC] Why isn't it special when your stormtrooper boyfriend says he misses you?

He misses everyone.

What's the stormtrooper's favorite store?

The one next to Target.

What's the least likely way for a Stormtrooper to die?

Shooting himself.

A redshirt and a Stormtrooper get into a firefight.

The Stormtrooper misses every shot, but the redshirt dies anyway.

Where does a Stormtrooper get cash?

The AT-ATM

A stormtrooper walks into a bar and orders a martini

The bartender asks while handing the stormtrooper his drink, "Shouldn't you not be drinking on the job?"

The stormtrooper arches his eyebrow, "And hit what I'm aiming for?"

Stormtrooper: Am I aiming my gun correctly?

Yoda: Off course you are.

If Ani is short for Anakin and Obi is short for Obi-Wan, what is Luke short for?

A stormtrooper.

A Stormtrooper tried to shoot me with a water gun.

But as usual, he mist.

What do you call a married stormtrooper couple?

Misster & Misses

How is a Stormtrooper like an empty church?

Both of their Pews are missing people

Why did the StormTrooper Buy The IPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for

Why is a stormtrooper always late for work?

Because they keep missing the bus

Why do Stormtroopers never laugh?

Because they always miss the joke

What did the Stormtrooper say to his family before shipping off to Empire basic training?

I’ll miss you.

Stormtroopers and dogs are a lot alike

No matter where you're at, they always miss you.

For Halloween, a classmate dressed up as a stormtrooper and shot up the school.

Don’t worry, no one got hurt.

The Stormtrooper from Switzerland

After a long day of training in the force on Dagobah, Luke came back to Yoda’s tiny hut and noticed that he looked worried. Yoda went on to tell Luke that while he was away a stormtrooper from Switzerland came by and demanded to know where Princess Leia was.

Luke looked around scared and ask...

What game will a Stormtrooper always win at?

Russian roulette

I’m going to be taking my drivers exam in a full stormtrooper outfit...

That way I won’t hit anything.

Six stormtroopers decided to play Russian Roulette.

They got away with a warning but had to pay for the damage.

Two stormtroopers were eating wookie steak...

One said to the other, "How's the steak?". The other replied, "It's a little Chewie..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are stormtroopers great for casual sex?

When they shoot, they miss.

Hear about the Stormtrooper band?

Apparently they never had a hit

Why are most stormtrooper pilots from Thailand?

Because they're natural Thai fighters

Why do stormtroopers always wear masks?

Because they keep missing their shots. #covid

From where do Imperial Stormtroopers say their prayers?

Pew! Pew! Pew!

A Stormtrooper walks into a cantina...

Stormtrooper: Damn this song is catchy!

Stormtrooper helmets

I would wear a stormtrooper helmet everytime I went for a ride on a motorcycle to avoid HITTING anything.

Why do stormtroopers make good drivers?

They won't ever hit anything.

To all the people who don't get jokes about Stormtroopers:

You're missing the point!

What did Darth Vader say to the vegetarian stormtrooper?

"I find your lack of steak disturbing."

Star Wars Joke...

If Finn hooks up with Rey...

He would be the first stormtrooper to hit something

Why was the stormtrooper always lonely?

Because he always missed everyone

Why can’t stormtroopers get laid?

They can’t hit anything

Did you hear about the recent polio outbreak among Stormtroopers?

I guess it’s because they always miss their shots.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Stormtroopers are in a Space fight...

One female one male. the female decides to give the male a blowjob whle he shoots and chases after the rebels. As she unbuckled his pants she says "Is it true what they say about Stormtroopers?". "Yes" he says, as he misses all his shots and they die in the explosion of the Death Star.

Do you know why they always called him Lord Vader?

Because when they tried Master Vader it made all the stormtroopers giggle.

I just saw my stormtrooper girlfriend for the first time in 6 months.

She said she missed me.

Why can't a Stormtrooper have a baby?

Because they always miss.

Why is a Stormtrooper's height of 5'11" measured in feet and inches?

They use Imperial measurements

What do you call a stormtroopers wife?

Missus

Why do stormtroopers never have long distance relationships?

Because they'd miss each other.

Whats the difference between stormtroopers haveing a party and mushrooms being picked?

One's bad guys having a fun time the other ones fungi having a bad time!

Did you hear about the Stormtrooper who became a kamikaze pilot?

He survived 99 missions.

A large amount of stormtroopers walk into a bar and orders drinks

They all miss the free shots.

Uber dressed up some of their vehicles as Star Wars Stormtroopers in Manhattan...

I wouldn't mind riding one of those. They won't hit anything.

Thought this up while driving behind a car with a Star Wars Rebel sticker on it.

What is the favorite type of weather of Stormtroopers?

Mist

Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.

Stormtrooper: They R2!

How does a church congregation defend against an attack by Galactic Imperial Stormtroopers?

They use the pew, pew-pew pews.

More jokes from my 5 year old. Who's a Stormtroopers favourite person?

Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan

Ever wonder why Star Wars has so many plot holes?

It's because the stormtroopers keep missing

What is the best paradox?

A Stormtrooper shooting at a red shirt. One can't hit anything, and the other won't dodge.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Stormtrooper and a Twi’lek prostitute are chatting after sex

She says to him, “You know, I’ve fucked guys from the Empire and from the Resistance and I’m more partial to you Imperials.”

“Why is that?” Asks the stormtrooper.

“Well you guys always seem to last longer.”

“Is that so? Whats wrong with the Rebels?”

“Well,” she says with...

Why was the Stormtrooper so sad when his Jedi friend left?

He always misses him.

3 Guys Walk Into A Bar

The first one ducks. The second one also ducks. The stormtrooper doesn’t.

Why was there a Covid-19 outbreak on the Death Star?

'Cos the Stormtroopers missed their shots.

Why are stormtroopers so inaccurate?

Because they're imperial

If a Stormtrooper offers to give you a ride in his car, you shouldn’t worry about ending up in a car accident

They have a stellar safety record, because they’ve never hit anything since the beginning of time

In Star Wars Legends, Rey discovers an unusual force ability...

...this allows her to turn as dark as the night like a shadow and even become the shadows of others, useful for creeping up on enemies. The First Order Stormtroopers spoke about this amazing power having heard about it from a commanding officer Rey fought with the force. "Sir was spun around and kno...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man and his doctor's advice

A man came to the chamber of a well known doctor.
**Doctor:** Hello and good afternoon. What seems to be the problem?
*Man:* I don't want any more baby, doc. Save me.


**Doctor:** Okay, tell me why can't you stop having a baby?
*Man:* I used a condom so that my semen won't...

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