UPJOKE
thunderstormprecipitationcomeicestormrainsleetclouddownpourheraldacclaimgraupelprecipitatehailstoneapplaud

Hailing Jokes

A london cabbie is driving down an unlit street in heavy fog he sees a figure in the distance hailing him...

...he opens the door and turns around to see a beautiful naked woman.

"Where to love?"

"5 Kings road please"

She's so gorgeous and curvy in all the right places that he can't keep his eyes of her. She catches him in a longer lingering stare and says

"What do you think you...

A friend of mine gets a big raise every year. His secret? Always negotiate on a rainy day.

I thought it was crazy. I should've left it at that. But I'm a sucker for a good misconception… and I was due for a raise.

I waited for a nice rainy day. Not a misty day, or a drizzle. It had to be full-on rain. Inevitably, the day arrived and I requested a meeting with my boss. He listened i...

What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

I've told this story to many naive greens before me, so self-absorbed in their own notions of human conflict and the meaning of war. Whenever I finish the tale they're always pale as Lyndon B's corrupt lyin' ass. I can't blame 'em. This story kept me up throughout my whole deployment in those damn j...

Chester was really happy, he was about to meet the Queen.

He had been a physics prodigy hailing from a small town in England, and had just been selected to be Knighted by the Queen of England.

After the ceremony, his best friend remarked to him:
"Man, Chester, you Knighted!"

A Scary Midnight Story

A taxi driver is going home at midnight when he decides to take a shortcut through a cemetery. He's driving slowly through the dark when he suddenly stops in shock. In front of his headlights is a lady in white hailing him down.

Before he has time to think, the woman climbs in and says in a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

She's Naked.

A taxi driver spot a girl hailing for a cab outside a nightclub. She was completely naked. He stopped and she went into the taxi.

Throughout the drive, the girl noticed that the driver kept looking at her with the front mirror. "Hey man, never see a hot naked girl before huh? Why don't you ke...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Mathematician from Brooklyn

A mathematician hailing from Brooklyn, NY gets invited to the annual conference for mathematics, statistics and logic. Upon arriving, he notices that a world-renown professor is hosting what was listed as "The Unbeatable Brain-Teaser". He decides to sign up, and gets in the single-file line for a on...

I’ve spent the day in a German police station.

Word to the wise… Don’t go hailing a taxi in Germany like you do in other countries.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every Saturday Leon played golf with his best friend Charlie.

It didn't matter if it was sunny, raining, or hailing they played golf like clockwork. When he got home his wife would ask how his day went, and he would say:

"It was wonderful, because I got to play golf."

After 30 years of this Charlie, unfortunately, died. The next Saturday Leon kep...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The handicapped parrot

Danny walks into a pet store looking for a bird. After a half hour of fruitless searching, he hears a voice call out to him "Hey mister, I see you've been looking for a bird eh?" Danny turns around and to his surprise, he sees it was a parrot hailing him. Danny says "You can talk?" The parrot says "...

A couple is taking a walk in Berlin

Suddenly, it starts raining.

The two start arguing over whether it's raining or hailing.

"Let's ask that Communist officer over there! He might know if it's raining!", the wife suggests.

They go up to him and notice that his nametag says that his name is Olf. "It's raining, dum...

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxi cabs!

Got this from a joke book my niece got for Christmas. Most of them were groaners but this one actually made me laugh!

Flagging down a people-carrier taxi is like my music collection.

I don't like van hailing.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.