Good Friday Jokes - 24 Hilarious Good Friday Jokes

Jesus was born on Christmas, died on Good Friday and rose on Easter.

What are the odds?!?!

What did roman soldier say on a Good Friday?

Nailed it!

I meet a bishop at Good Friday mass today, but I’m a little suspicious.

He wasn’t moving diagonally.

I found 20 quid outside the supermarket and I felt a little bit guilty as I picked it up, so because it’s Good Friday I thought to myself, “What would Jesus do?”.

So I turned it into wine...

I almost forgot what this Friday is (Good Friday).

My mom would be so disappointed... she’d crucify me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s frustrating some people get off for Good Friday.

I haven’t had sex in months…

You know who would never call today "Good Friday"?

Jesus.

It was good Friday so Jesus went to get his nails done...

The lady doing his nails asked "what color do you want? Or how about a clear coat?"

Jesus replied "thanks, but really I just want the rust removed"

Tried to go toilet shopping on Good Friday

solid waste of my time.

Celebrating Good Friday by honoring Jesus

aka doing the same thing he did today and hanging with my Bros.

Rumor has it that Jesus got so hammered on Good Friday that he didn’t wake up for 3 days.

Easter Joke... Nailed it.

Earlier today I told my Christian friend to “Have a Good Friday.” He didn’t catch my pun.

I’m not surprised. Jokes like this usually Pass Over his head.

Last year I got so hammered on Good Friday

I woke up in a cave three days later

Trying to think of a hilarious Good Friday joke...

I really want to nail this.

We usually get half a day off for Good Friday, but there hasn't been an announcement this year, so I tracked down my boss and asked...

"Do we still get off Friday for Jesus day?"

He replied, "No, we only get off a half day for Good Friday."

And all I said was, "You know, if he would have stayed dead, we could have taken the whole day off, but now we have to give half of it back."

And that, my friend...

What kind of meat do priests eat on good Friday?

Nun.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

And on Good Friday, I'm once again reminded that I'm a lonely virgin.

Even Jesus got nailed today.

Why did the blonde start looking for a new job?

Her boss texted they would be closed for good friday.

A psychologist visits an engineer in his hospital bed

The guy had just jumped off a bridge. The psychologist says, "Hey there Ahmed, I'm Dr. Adams, how you feeling today?" And the engineer replies, "In pain, but lucky to be alive, I guess."

Dr. Adams wants to help, so she asks the engineer about his life. The engineer tells her he came from Liby...

I’m feeling optimistic

Tomorrow’s going to be a Good Friday.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a Male Hen

It was Passover and the priest had lost his Rooster and didn't know where to find it. So at the sermon on Good Friday he asked, "Has anybody got the cock?" All the men stood up. "No! no! I mean has anybody seen the cock?" All the women folk stood up. "No! no! I mean has anybody seen my cock?"
...

Just found- Lost Scriptures from the Book of Paul.

It is Good Friday and there are multitudes of people gathered around Mt. Calvary wailing, worshiping, and witnessing the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, now nailed to the cross atop this hill for all to see. Jesus cries out, "Paul...Paul... Paaaulll.." Paul hears this and to prove he is a good disciple...

What do you get when you cross Jesus and a couple of criminals?

A good Friday

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three blondes are in front of the Heavenly Gate...

Each of the blondes lives a sinful and depraved life of sex and drugs. Yet, after their deaths they find themselves before Saint Peter. Peter looks at these three girls and shakes his head.

Then after a moment he speaks, "O.K girls. The Lord as decided to be merciful and give you another cha...

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