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Myrrh Jokes

Jesus writes a letter to the three wise men years later, and thanks them for the gifts they gave him.

"Hello Wise Men,
Thanks for the Frankincense, first wise man, I will make great use of it, perhaps not now, but far later in life. As for you, second wise man, I am very pleased with the Myrrh, it smells lovely and I have been scenting my house with it. However, third wise man, I am travel weary ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim.

...after taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape.

"You see, " Carl says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into it's com...

The three wise men came to the manger with gifts for baby Jesus. They brought gold and frankincense...

But wait, there's myrrh!

Three wise kings debated gifts for an upcoming baby shower.

"I've got it!" the first proclaimed. "Myrrh! I'll get some from our stores! The mother could make all manner of perfumes and medicine!"

"Fantastic idea!" the second agreed, and he gasped, "Frankincense! I have a bit left over from a recent voyage! I'll bring some along!"

They turned ...

A wise man is walking through a market with a bag of gold.

As he passes the various sellers, a merchant quickly lights some incense and a beautiful aroma fills the air. “It’s frankincense,” the merchant says. “The best in the land.”

The wise man gets some and is about to leave when the merchant calls out, “But wait ... there’s myrrh!”

I gave my friend gifts of gold and frankincense last Christmas

It’ll keep him coming back for myrrh

Christmas Pageant

Sister Margaret's kindergarten class is performing the traditional Nativity scene for their adoring parents.

Cue the three magi.

The first little tyke bellows, "Here, I bring you a gift of gold!"

The second confidently says, "Here, I bring you myrrh!"

The third hesitate...

Two wise men arrive at the stable in Bethlehem.

They enter and find Joseph and Mary with their newborn son. The first wise man approaches Joseph and, kneeling on one knee, presents his gift of frankincense. Joseph graciously accepts it, saying how blessed they are. The second wise man approaches and, kneeling on one knee, presents his gift of myr...

Jesus might be a telemarketer.

The other day I got a phone call from a telemarketer. The guy was trying to sell me frankincense. I really didn't want it though, so I told him I didn't want to buy any. He probably suspected I was going to hang up, so he quickly said, "But wait, there's myrrh!"

A man introduces his two kids.

He says, “These are my children, Frankincense and Bob.”

The other man responds, “Oh, I thought the other child would have been named Myrrh.”

The father responds, “Oh no, we get that all the time. You see my wife and I are HUGE fans of particular books and movies so we named them after ...

The three wise men walk into a barn...

...and see Joseph, Mary, and baby Jesus. Joseph asks why they are disturbing them as his wife had just given birth and needed rest. The first wise man said "I have brought gold for the child."

Joseph thanked him but ask that they leave. Then the second wise man said "I have brought frankincen...

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