The ad in the paper said, "You think you're funny? Tell us your best pun, and you'll win a $200 Amazon gift card!"

Well, I just couldn't resist. I sat down and wrote not one, but 10 of my best knee-slappers, rib-ticklers, and witty turns-of-phrase. I sent my list of comedy gold to the paper, and then began daydreaming about what I would do with $200.

The day on which the paper announced the contest winner...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sister got a fucking Cadillac on her birthday and all I got was an Amazon gift card.

It's fucking unfair, now I have to wait until my own birthday to get a good present.

My dad gave me a Walmart gift card for my birthday

Then he said "Don't spend it in one place."

What gift card does santa get for naughty children?

Kohl’s

Buying yourself an Uber gift card is ironic.

Cause it's a free ride when you've already paid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Buy yourself a PornHub premium gift card...

And go fuck yourself.

For fathers day, I bought my dad a $100 gift card to the Apple Store...

He said "Thanks for the phone charger, son."

The guy who stole the spotify gift cards got caught

He got 6 months.

A Police Officer Pulls Over a Car With Four People in it.

When the driver opens the window, he proceeds to say, "Congratulations, because everyone has their seatbelt on today, you are going to win a $200 gift card!"

The driver responds, "Oh thank goodness, I thought you were pulling me over for running that stop sign a mile back."

The front s...

Brooks Brothers just filed for bankruptcy

so now I might never be able to use this $50 gift card on one sock.

Guy calls in on radio show

**Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'

**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?

**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Small Anatomy Contest

This is a joke to tell in a group of guy friends:

3 guys find out about a contest to find who has the smallest body parts.

Guy 1: I've got the smallest hands in the world! I can win this one easy.

Guy 2: My ears are tiny! I can win the smallest ears contest, no problem.

G...

A little boy calls his best friend on Christmas day...

“HEY! So what did you get for Christmas?” The second little boy pauses and says “well I got a gift card and a t-shirt…you?”

The first little boy excitedly replies ”Oh man, I got a new scooter, a new 3DS XL. A PS Vita. A new bike and were going to Disneyland on Friday. Can’t believe all you g...

I was honored at my dentist's office for "Most Infrequent Visits"

My reward was a gift card and plaque.

And so the Lord said unto John, “come forth, and you shall receive the gift of eternal life.”

But John came fifth, and received a $10 subway gift card

What does this joke mean from jimmy kimmel show?

Bed Bath & Beyond is currently offering store credit in exchange for Toys RUs gift cards. Said kids, “Umm… I guess the whiskey decanter?”

A rich man needs a blood transfusion

A rich man goes to the doctor and the doctor says he needs a blood transfusion. So the rich man goes to work the next day and tells his Jewish employee & close friend the news. Since they have been very close friends for a long time, the Jewish guy offers him some of his own blood.

Right ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.