Vladimir Putin confronts his speechwriter after giving a speech.
“You said my speech would be 15 minutes long, but I had to speak for 45 minutes!” Putin exclaims.
His speechwriter replies: “Mr President, I gave you three copies.”
A woman calls her husband
Her: Hi honey i think i have water in carburator.
Him: You don't even know where carburator is how do you know there is water in it?
Her: I don't know where it is but water is in it for sure.
Him: Okay i wil get to you where have you parked your car?
Her: About five metes...
A guy gets his bike stolen from synagogue...
He goes to see his rabbi one day and says,
"Rabbi you won't believe what happened to me! Last week someone stole my bicycle from synagogue!"
The rabbi is deeply upset by this, but after thinking for a moment he offers a solution:
"Next week come to services, sit in the fron row,...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Parrot Joke
A lady walking to work evryday passes by a pet shop. Out on the sidewalk sits a parrot on his perch. As she passes the parrot goes "HEY LADY." she looks at him and says "yes" the parrot replies "You're fucking ugly." The lady gets her panties in a knot and walks off in a huff.
The next da...
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