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Flags Jokes

My girlfriend's red flags wouldn't have bothered me so much

....if they didn't have swastikas on them.

Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white...

...so now it looks like France landed there.

If Pride Flags exist; there must be Shame Flags

Which explains the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy

The illegals protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth.

Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.

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Hitler had so many red flags around him.

But no one saw it coming.

I broke up with my girlfriend because she was a communist.

To be honest, there were a lot of red flags

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I just don't get how the german people could fall for Hitler and the Nazis

There were an awful lot of red flags.

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What do flags and my penis have in common?

They both stand at half mast when somebody dies.

I dumped my last girlfriend because she was a communist.

I should've known sooner. There were red flags everywhere.

We should've known communism would fail.

There were a lot of red flags.

White flags

The American flags planted on the Moon by the Apollo astronauts have been exposed to high levels of UV rays for decades. This has bleached them pure white.

So now it looks like the French landed there.

France has the most flags on the moon of any nation.

The intense UV light bleaches all the flags placed there white.

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Damn girl are you an amusement park

Because I see six red flags

No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II.

I mean, there were red flags everywhere.

I once dated a Turkish woman.

Her mother was Tunisian, and her father was Canadian. Her grandparents were Albanian and her brother was Danish.


I broke up with her though, too many red flags.

I once took a test on waving signal flags.

They told me I passed with flying colors.

My girlfriend left me because of my “unhealthy obsession” with USSR memorabilia...

She said there were too many red flags!

The US confederate flags supporters should be proud.

They are part of a long line of countries that lost wars to the USA.

The soviet union was doomed to fail

The red flags were everywhere.

Apparently NASCAR is banning all Confederate flags from its races.

But how will drivers know they’ve entered the last lap of the race? 🏳

Why are flags the most erotic of cloths?

Because when the wind blows, they do pole dances.

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Tim is driving to work when a man wearing yellow suddenly flags him down

He slows down, puzzled.

"Just who are you supposed to be?"

The man replies: "I'm a yellow cunt and I'll be on my way if you just give me some food!"

Tim is confused, but being a generally good-natured man, he gives the sandwich he was going to have for lunch, and the man skips a...

People really should have known what was going to happen with Communism

There were so many red flags

During World War II, there’s a brutal battle between the Allied Forces and the Germans.

The Germans are sustaining heavy casualties. The German commander is preparing to sound the retreat, but he receives word that the Allies have cut the Germans off from the rear.

With no choice left and to save his men, he gives the order to surrender. German soldiers begin frantically waving...

Apparantly all flags on the moon have faded to white by now.

Now the French can claim to have been there.

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Some of the biggest red flags I can think of are Danish, Chinese, Spainish, Turkish, or Albanian

And to a lesser extent, Canadian, Indonesean, Hatian, American, and Japanese

Did you hear about Six Flags new roller coaster?

They are calling it 2020.

Why is a rainbow the pride flags colors.

Because it’s the first thing you see when the sun comes out.

Red flags in relationships are always so obvious in hindsight.

I blame the Doppler effect -- when they're coming right at you they look blue.

Just found out I was dating a commie

Guess I should've noticed the red flags earlier

So NASCAR has decided to ban confederate flags at all events...

Looks like all those years of turning left rubbed off on them.

Only two countries have square flags

One is Vatican City, the other is Switzerland.


No wonder Swiss cheese is holy.

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A man is eating soup at a restaurant when he drops his spoon.

It was a particularly busy day, so the man thinks "Great, by the time I get another spoon, my soup will be cold." Nevertheless, he flags down his waiter and tells him that he dropped his spoon. The waiter says "Here ya go" and produces a spoon from his vest pocket. "Wow, that was convenient" the man...

Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?

Because they keep cutting in line

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Imagine if they made an amusement park called Sex Flags

It would be a fucking roller-coaster

Lately, I've seen a post about red flags to look out for when looking for a job

All I can say is dont go looking for a job at chinese government buildings because there's always a red flag

Why are there no American flags at the DNC?

Because the delegates were standing on them.

Did u know that al the flags on the moon have been bleached white due to radiation?

This makes the moon an official province of France

After a fun night, he invited me to his place. But then I realized he was a communist.

I should've seen the red flags.

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Took down my rebel flag and peeled off my NRA sticker off the front door.

We have disconnected our home alarm system and quit the candy-ass neighborhood watch. We bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center. Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service...

Save money on home security and alarm systems by flying flags of politically taboo groups on the front

The police will watch your house for free!

I shoulda known

I shoulda known my marriage was going to be rough. On our honeymoon to Hawaii we ordered a couple of tropical drinks at the bar. We'd each taken just a sip when the bartender came over and took out the umbrellas and replaced them with red flags.

I once dated a girl from Tunisia

Her dad was from Trinidad and Tobago and her mum was from Morocco. Broke up with her in the end though. Too many red flags

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