An ensign was spending his first few days aboard a submarine learning his duties and a litany of regulations.
His job was unusual, but simple; tend a pair of oxen in a miniature field on deck 7. The purpose of this agricultural endeavor was to see if crops might one day be grown inside a spaceship; a submarine was an adequate stand in.
He had never driven cattle before, but in short order, he got th...
“YOU WILL OBEY ORDERS OR I WILL BREAK MY FOOT OFF IN YOUR ASS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME ENSIGN?” The officer demanded.
“SIR YES SIR!” The ensign replied. “REQUESTING PERMISSION TO SPEAK FREELY SIR!”
“GRANTED.” The officer bellowed.
“DON’T THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME, SIR!”
For talk like a pirate day
There was a famous pirate captain who before a battle would turn to his ensign and say “Fetch me me red shirt” After the battle was won the ensign asked “ Why the red shirt captain?” “ If I get shot or wounded the shirt will hide the blood and the crew won’t be alarmed” A month lat...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A young woman is ready for her first mission in the US Navy.
She sits down across the Lieutenant's desk, ready to be assigned. "You will be serving on the USS Trojan," the Lieutenant says, "A state-of-the-art Submarine erected in 2003, and has never been in the water."
"Never been in the water? Even after 17 years?" She asks, the Lieutenant nods. ...
The Red Shirt
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship.
One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Cap...
The Submarine Party
To boost morale, a submarine captain decides to hold a party for the seamen while underwater. Given the tight space, they setup various areas throughout the boat to serve the crew. Despite the long lines at each area, the party is going well, with everyone happily eating and drinking.
Sir, why do you ask for a red shirt before battle?
In the days when tall wooden ships sailed the high seas, there was this one ship sailing during a war. That morning, the lookout shouted, “Enemy ship on the horizon.” The captain said to his ensign, “Get me my red shirt.” The ensign, rather bewildered by this odd request, did as his captain or...