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Feel Good Jokes

Vegetable puns make me feel good

from my head tomatoes.

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It makes me feel good

A man named Peter Venkman had recently become addicted to masturbation, and decided to get some help. When the therapist asked him why he turned to masturbation to deal with stress, he replied 'Busting makes me feel good!'

I really hope this isn't a repost.

Where do you put Giraffes that don't feel good?

Giraffe-Sick Park

Why does a shower feel good but rain feels bad?

Consent

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What does wearing crocs and getting a blowjob from a man have in common?

They both feel good until you look down and realize you're gay.

TAKE THAT CROC LOBBY #againstbigcroc

I understand if I get downvoted.

An Australian with two bad eyes may not be the best at making you feel good...

But an Aussie with one good eye might...

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pro...

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A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her 3rd grade class. The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Principal: 6+6.

Boy: 12.

The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send ...

The wife and I were getting frisky this morning and I asked her to use her hand to make me feel good

...so she counted out the number of hours left until Trump is no longer President.

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I have a bumper sticker that says, "honk if you think I'm sexy"...

I just sit at green lights until I feel good about myself.

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Scarlett Johansson and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck.

They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was...

At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she started caring about him... after all, there wasn't anybody els...

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