After my existential crisis, I decided to take a job as a feeder at the local dolphinarium

Now Iโ€™m serving a youthful porpoise

I have a bird feeder in the garden.

It also works as a cat feeder.

What's the difference between an eel and a lawyer?

One's an ugly, slimy, scaly, cold blooded parasitic scum-sucking bottom-feeder,



and the other is a fish that's shaped like a snake.

What do you call a fish that eats ass?

A bottom feeder.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Three men have died and are at heaven's gate in front of Saint Peter

^((I only heard it in German, hope I translated it ok))

Saint Peter says "I'm sorry, we're a little short on space here, so we have a new policy. We only let people in who died in an interesting way." He then points to the first man and asks "so, how did you die?"

The first man starts,...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

On the one hand, I should be more focused on my job as a shark feeder at SeaWorld.

On the other h... FUCK!

What do dry gin and pollinating plants have in common?

They're both Bee-Feeders.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do you call an ass-eating sea creature

a bottom feeder


(creds to a friend)

I put Red Bull in the hummingbird feeder.

I'm pretty sure I just saw one go back in time...

Whatโ€™s the difference between a lawyer and a cat fish?

One is a slimy bottom feeder and the other one is a fish.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A tourist is eaten by a python at the zoo.

Two tourists from the Czech republic are visiting New York. At the zoo, one leans forward, trying to get real close to the pythons. He falls down into the enclosure and is quickly swallowed whole.


Panicking, the other guy runs up to a caretaker and cries out for help. The caretaker asks h...

What did the whale say to the barnacle?

I used to think you were just a bottom feeder but now you're starting to grow on me.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

People who eat ass

Are such bottom feeders.

F*ck I killed him

A cyclist is riding through the park and suddenly a bird flies directly in his face. They both fall down on the road. When the cyclist realizes what just happened, he notices the bird laying almost dead, but still breathing. He doesn't have the heart to leave that poor bird die there so he takes it ...

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One's a slimy, scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is delicious dipped in batter and deep-fried.

*-Hannibal Lecter*

Apes are very intelligent...

After working very hard with a group of apes their zookeepers seemed to have had some success teaching them to read and write.

The apes begin to make remarkable progress. As they spent most of their budget on basic children's books the staff decides to use texts about animals from the gift sh...

Bus 702

Bus 702 is a double-decked bus, one of those feeder services that simply goes out to far flung places to pick people up where there would not otherwise be traffic. Along its route, near where it loops around, are cemeteries of all faiths. Looking out of the window during the route does not exactly b...

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