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Stuck on a crossword.. “according to the saying, these should be seen but not heard” 8 letters, starts with a C.

I got it, Coldplay.

I went to a Coldplay concert once.

It was paradise.

What's a necrophiliac's favourite band?


Social distancing for an introvert is like winning a free ticket to a Coldplay concert for an extrovert

I feel right at home

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The reactions to the half time show are pretty mixed. I've seen some people say it was the best since Prince and some people say it's the worst since Coldplay. Others have said it was complete ass.

It’s hard to tell what they think.

If you play a Coldplay song backwards, you'll hear a lot of creepy, Satanic chanting in Latin

But if you play a Coldplay song the normal way, you'll hear something much worse. A Coldplay song.

What's the best way to make apple crumble?

Remind her that her mum's Gwynneth Paltrow and her dad's in Coldplay.

I hate it when I blow a guy for a really long time, but he doesn't cum...

It's like that Coldplay song,
"when you try your best, but you don't suck seed"

How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Eskimo musicians do before sex?


Did you hear about the Coldplay concert in China last weekend?

It was all yellow.

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