UPJOKE
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What comes every month, expectantly but often disappointing and makes women wish they were men?

Salary.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Three cowboys are settling down after a long day herding cattle.

The first cowboy says, "You know, it takes a real man's man to do this job. I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why? just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns, with my bare hands."

The second cowboy not t...

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly to a recently married couple's house...

She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch completely naked.
"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law ex...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Mormon are drinking together.

The Jew boasts about his fertility

"I have 4 sons; one more and I'll have a basketball team!"

"That's nothing," says the Catholic, "I have 10 sons! I almost have a football team!"

The Jew and Catholic looked expectantly at the Mormon. "Well?"

"I have 17 wives. I almost ha...

Four buddies caught up for coffee many years after high school. Each bragging to the other how successful and wealthy theyโ€™ve become.

The first guy said, โ€œSee that bank building across the street? I am going to buy it within the next six months.โ€

The second guy then said, โ€œSee that hotel building next to the bank? I am going to buy it within the next month.โ€

Not wanting to lose out, the third guy quickly said, โ€œSee t...

Jesus on vacation

Jesus is vacationing in New York (they aren't kidding about nobody looking twice at you) when he sees the Buddah smiling from behind a hot dog stand. Jesus approaches, saying he'd be delighted if Buddah could make him one with everything.

Buddah nods knowingly and reaches into the cart where ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

[NSFW] Three men are discussing their sex lives

James said "My sex life is amazing! I have threesomes every day."

Jack said "Lucky you. I'm stuck with twosomes."

They both turn to John expectantly. "So John, how is your sex life?"

John thought for a while, then said "Wholesome, I guess."

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