UPJOKE
locutionprofanitydysphemismcolloquialismparlanceslangadjectiveshorthandjargoncircumlocutionargotshibbolethantonymphraseologyconnotation

Euphemism Jokes

My religion is Euphemism.

I worship Gosh and his son Gee Whiz, so I won't be darned to heck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Celibacy or .....

Before being ordained 6 priests had to stand nude with a bell tied to their cocks. Anyone whose bell rang had no spiritual purity. A naked girl with big tits & a shaved fanny danced before each one. 1st priest no reaction. She went down the line with no response from them till she reached last p...

I asked my proctologist if it's okay for me to use euphemisms...

He said analogies would be better.

Stupid Overcomplicated euphemism jokes

1.

I’m a transaction manager for a multibillion dollar corporation

I work as a McDonald’s cashier

2.

“Mom there is a burglar in here”

“No kid I’m just an asset reallocation specialist”

3.

“So what do you do for a living?”

“I travel and driv...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

America has Trump, a euphemism in the UK for fart.

The UK has Johnson, a euphemism in America for penis.

Together we have President Fart and Prime Minister Penis.

The best part of a euphemism?

You can take it any way you want it...

What is an euphemism for FakeTaxi?

Screwdriver

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which fast food joint is a euphemism for female masturbation?

Jack in the box. (Jackin the box)

These five euphemisms for defecation will shock you!

I can't believe #2

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old Fart Joke. Years ago (late 1980's) I was travelling through Schiphol (Amsterdam) airport.

As I waited for the bus to the hotel, I noted all the posted flyers for "massage". I thought, what the hell, and jotted down a phone number.

When I got to the hotel I dialed the number and a woman answered with "how can I help you?" Boy, did she sound sexy.

I told her "I would like to ...

Winning the hearts and minds of the people

An old CCP euphemism for organ harvesting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Favorite Joke which I’ll tell and then explain why I love it.

A sheep herder has.a new girlfriend. They’re lying in bed after a night of intimacy and engaged in pillow talk.

The gal says, “So before me, how experienced were you?”

The sheep herder starts counting and falls asleep.

————————————————————————————

Three Reasons I love thi...

If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit.....

.....join the Euphemism Society.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A conservative husband and wife are having trouble in the bedroom.

They decide to go to a doctor about it, the wife explains she is too embarrassed to talk about sex. The doctor suggests they use a euphemism to get over her problem. She agrees to try it and settles on "washing machine".

This works wonders until one night her husband comes home from the pub h...

A soldier is stationed in the middle east...

A young, American soldier arrives to his first tour of duty in an undeveloped area of Kuwait, and quickly discovers that things are rather strict. While he's able to distract himself for the first few days, he soon starts to get a little bit "antsy," and wonders how, exactly, he's meant to contend w...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.