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Electric Bill Jokes

I'm so much in debt, I can't afford to pay my electric bill...

These are the darkest days of my life...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was a boy, my dad gave me money to go downtown and pay the electric bill

But instead, I bought raffle tickets for a chance to win a new truck.

I told my dad when I got home and he beat my ass.

The next morning, however, there was a brand new truck in the driveway.

We all held each other and cried, especially me because it was the truck from the el...

I opened my water and electric bills simultaneously...

Needless to say, I was shocked.

You think gad and electric bills are expensive... have you seen chimneys?

They're through the roof!

[First Date] Her: I’m usually attracted to men with power.

Me: That’s great, I always pay my electric bill on time.

With great power comes....

....great electric bills!

What did the alcoholic do after he couldn’t afford the electric bill?

He took a shot in the dark!

When we were in college, my roommates and I were so poor that we couldn’t afford to pay our electric bills.

It was…the darkest days of our lives.

Why do Hanzo players have such high electric bills?

They never switch off.

How did the church save money on their electric bill?

They switched to souler power from the son.

My Father often said, "Everything the light touches is yours."

It was a lovely sentiment, but he never paid the electric bill either.

Yesterday, a homeless man approached me while I was checking the mail...

He said, "Sir, I hate to bother you, but I haven't eaten in nearly two days. Is there any way you can find it in your heart to give me a dollar or two?" I told him that I only had large bills. He said, "Hell, I'll take one of those!" So I looked through what I had in my hand, and I gave him my elect...

When God closes a door, he opens a window.

My electric bill is through the roof.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife told me she can only have sex with me in the dark because she can't stand the sight of me.

Since then I haven't been paying our electric bill.

I was sitting in my room just thinking about my life, when I started wondering how things got to be so dark.

Then I realized I forgot to pay the electric bill.

All this Spending on Black Friday

Better make sure ya'll pay the electric bill first or next Friday will be Black Friday too

A man dies and goes to hell. Once there, he finds that there is a different hell for each country, so he tries to seek out the least painful one.

At the door to German Hell, he is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

He does not like the sound of that, so he checks out British Hell, Russia...

Fancy Strip Club

I found my self at a strip club one evening. Apparently it was a nice one because when I pulled out a dollar bill to tip one of the dancers she promptly told me "sorry darling but we only take big bills here." without missing a beat I said "no problem hun, all I have are big bills." i winked at her,...

When I was younger, I was afraid of the dark.

Now I see the electric bills, and became afraid of the light.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Jimmy wakes up at night to get some water.

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and walks to the kitchen. On the way, he passes the bathroom and sees the light is on. Knowing how his father is about the electric bill, he goes to shut it off.

When he opens the bathroom door he sees his mother bent over the bathroom sink, and his dad's ra...

Shipwrecked

A married couple were enjoying a luxury South Sea cruise until their liner was shipwrecked and they were washed ashore on a desert island, the only survivors.

Day after day, they looked hopefully out to sea in the hope of spotting a passing vessel but none came. As boredom set in, they star...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Financial burdens

So this couple is going over their budget and notices that this week they aren't going to be able to pay the electric bill this month. The husband turns to the wife to let her know that in order to cover the budget she is going to have to start hooking to pay the mortgage, but not to worry as he wi...

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