What did the Ancient Egyptians call the pharaoh who farted oddly?

Toot Uncommon

Why did the ancient egyptians all love Nissan?

Because Nissan Sentra.


My wife says I'm going to Duat for this one....

Why did Ancient Egyptians placed their arms diagonally close to their chests?

Because they thought there were waterslides in the afterlife

An explorer claimed the Ancient Egyptians had Bitcoin technology before anyone else!

He stumbled upon a tomb filled with ancient gold money, and shouted “Look at this crypt! Ohh currency!!”

How Egyptians solve problems.

In Cairo there is a large hole in the ground left over from a construction project that was never finished. Everyday several people unexpectedly walk right into the hole and are badly injured.

By the time the ambulance arrives and brings the victims to the hospital it is often too late to sa...

Did you know the ancient Egyptians watched monster movies?

Moth-Ra was their favorite. (Yes, I am a dad)

What do the kardashians and the egyptians have in common?

They didnt know their daddies would becomes mummies

Two Egyptians walk into a bar

"Where's your third friend?" Asks the bartender.

"He's gone to drink his sorrows down in the river." They replied.

"Oh no, is he depressed?"

"No, he's in De Nile."

Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?

In a narcophagus

Sometimes I wonder how many Egyptians...

Sometimes I wonder how many Egyptians you could fit in a pyramid...

It's probably a pharaoh mount!

Egyptians always fart before entering a room

They Tutankhamun

Why are Egyptians so good at farting?

They have good Sphinxters

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How are Egyptians, trains, and butts similar?

They've got toot in common.

Why did the Ancient Egyptians build Great Pyramids?

Because their Great Igloos melted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone is angry at the White House because they had time to prepare for Corona, but what about the Egyptians?

Egyptian mummies predicted Covid-19 in the prophecies by social distancing in big houses and hoarding toilet papers.

Did you hear about the flatulent Egyptians that met on Tinder?

They had TOOT in common.

Understanding the wealth of ancient Egyptians means...

...realizing that not only did they stuff the tombs with gold, but also wrapped the corpses in toilet paper.

I was excited to work for the ancient Egyptians

Until I realized it was a pyramid scheme

What do you call it when a pair of Egyptians fart simultaneously?

A Tutankhamen

A friend of mine told me about his plan to sell burial plots to rich Egyptians.

Sounded like a pyramid scheme to me.

The ancient Egyptians almost never passed gas

Until the king made tootin' common.

Two Egyptians are having an argument

The first Egyptian farts and the second one laughs so hard he farts.

"Well, at least we have a Tutankhamun!"

How do Egyptians get to work?

They use a new bus!

What did the Ancient Egyptians call a good lookin mummy?

a MILF

Why did the Ancient Egyptians always make it to school on time?

Because they had Anubis

How do shady Egyptians make money?

Pyramid schemes.

Where do Egyptians go when they don't want to face reality

De-nile River

What chocolate did the Egyptians eat?

Pharoh-rochere

Did you know back in the New Kingdom era, high ranking Egyptians were known for farting?

They all had a toot-in-common

I didn't realize the ancient Egyptians were so concerned with information security.

Everybody who was important got encrypted.

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