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Dynasty Jokes

What's the Habsburg Dynasty's favourite movie?

Jaws

Famous Egyptian 19th Dynasty chef

Gordon Ramses II

There is a story passed down in China about an emperor from the Ming Dynasty.

It is said that he favored deer above all else. Throughout the region, everyone knew that to kill a deer was the highest offense.

One day, a village awoke to find a dead buck in the yard of one of the villagers. Despite his pleading, the eldest man of the household was publicly killed. A remi...

On the Duck Dynasty Outrage,....

It's such a double standard.

When a white guy acts bad on TV, people rush to A&E and demand the show is cancelled.

When a black guy acts bad on TV, you don't see people rushing to Fox demanding they cancel COPS.

Henry VIII had a door for his ex-wife to leave, and a different door for his new wife to enter.

He was a British king from the Twodoor House dynasty.

Have you read this book?

My brother recommended the book Romance of the Three Kingdoms about the collapse of the Han dynasty and he asked me if I had ever read it.

I said, "Sure, it is the best book on the period, Han's down."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In China, archaeologists recently discovered the oldest known statue of a penis...

...carbon dating estimates it came from the Dong Dynasty.

What do Vietnamese historians and Southern rednecks have in common?

They both care way too much about the Đức Dynasty.

Every president has a secret service codename.

The current president is “Mogul”. I looked it up.
Mogul: a member of the Muslim dynasty of Mongol origin
Nope, that can’t be it, unless he’s a total self-hater. Try alternate definition:
Mogul: In downhill skiing, an ice-cold lump; an extremely dense obstacle to human progress, a destabil...

I know this guy, who's constantly gloating...

He inherited this ancient ming dynasty table from a dead relative and he wouldn't shut up about it. He didn't even seem to care that a family member had died. So one day I went over to his place to see this "amazing, priceless table" and when he went to the bathroom I sawed off all of it's legs. He ...

A General was about to lose in a battle

Suddenly a deity came to help and turned the tide to his favor. The general was quite grateful, kneeled down and asked, "What is my savior's great name?" The deity said, "I'm the god of practice target."
The general baffled, asked again, "What merit do I possess, that the God of practice target c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wedding night

Billy was a rich prince who had had many women before, but he wanted the perfect one for marriage, to extend his dynasty and satisfy his old grandma queen. He thought his future wife should be a perfect virgin of rare innocence, so he started an ''audition'', picking up girls in his Rolls Royce and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just adore this one from Arthur Koestler.

Under the reign of the second emperor of the Ming Dynasty there lived an executioner by the name of Wang Lun. He was a master of his art and his fame spread through all of the provinces of the Empire. There were many executions in those days, and sometimes as many as fifteen or twenty men to be behe...

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