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Eagles Jokes

Did you know that it’s wrong to breed eels with eagles?

It’s eel-eagle.

The 3 Eagles

There were 3 eagles chilling together, they were bored so they decided to challenge each other which of them can hunt the biggest prey.

So the 1st eagle flys away, half an hour later he is back with his beak stained in blood. The others ask what happened. And he says do you see that farmhous...

Are eagles tasty?

Washington Biological Survey inscribed Wash Biol Surv when tagging wild American eagles. They had to re-tag after a letter they received. "I caught a bird and was surprised it came with cooking instructions. So I washed, boiled and served it. It was the worse thing we ever ate!"

Eagles may soar...

But weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

Healthy eagles come from America.

Ill eagles come from Mexico.

Remember: eagles may soar above the rest.

But a weasel hasn’t been sucked into a jet engine yet.

Why couldn't the hobbits fly the Eagles to Mordor?

Because they were on tour and only got back at the end.

Did you know that sick eagles are not permitted by the law?

Because it's ill-eagle

Why does God like eagles so much?

Because they are birds of pray.

The lead singer of The Eagles has been arrested by Customs.

Apparently he was trying to smuggle exotic animals parts into the country.


It turns out that you can't hide those lion eyes.

Two Bald Eagles

A bald eagle decides to stop by a small lake to get a drink. As he's drinking another bald eagle lands next to him.


He looks at the eagle and notices a tulip, a rose, and a rabbit's foot on top of his head.

"What's with the stuff on your head?", the eagle asks.

"Oh this?"...

Lucky day for Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly.

Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly was watching the news when he witnessed something astounding. A young Syrian man had just thrown a hand grenade over 100 yards through the window of a building into a room that housed a sniper. He was so impressed that he had the man found and brought into t...

Gliding Eagles

Two eagles were gliding at a high altitude and discussing life, when a F-15 fighter jet zooms above them. It throws them off course and ruffles up their feathers.

They calm down and get back on track gliding next to each other.

The first eagle, excitedly 'Wow!! Now thats what I call sp...

Why is it prohibited to feed eagles in several countries?

Because it would be ill-eagle

What's the difference between patriots, eagles, and Cheerios?

Cheerios belong in a Bowl.

I like bald eagles.

They taste almost just like baby seals.

Why aren't eagles allowed to be sick in america?

Because that would be illeagle

Why do Republicans hate sick eagles?

Because they're illegals

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Eagles held the record for bestselling album of all time.

That was until Micheal Jackson beat it..

What's the difference between a falcon and an eagle?

Eagles can hold a lead.

What did Doug Pederson tell the Eagles about the tough matchup with the Saints?

Don’t expect tomorrow to be a breeze.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone loves birds, but men and women have different favorite species of birds

For instance. Men have falcons, eagles, vultures etc as their favorite

But women have great tits.

If eagles are the birds of American freedom, then what is the bird of American love?

A Swallow

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