Each Other Jokes - 130 Hilarious Each Other Jokes

The Bible tells us to love each other.

The Kama Sutra is a little more specific.

In space, two aliens are talking to each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

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A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and e...

Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other…

…the NSA will finally read it.

It is really unfortunate that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism have been fighting each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?

"Whoops, my fault"

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White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do.

We do it in schools, because we have class.

Two guys are sitting next to each other in a pub.

After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."

The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"

The first guy says, "So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?"

The other guy answers, "I'm...

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A man met a beautiful girl and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, “But we don’t know anything about each other.” He replied, “That’s all right; we’ll learn about each other as we go along.”

So she consented and they were married, and they went on honeymoon to a very nice resort.

One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 30-foot high board and did a two-and-a-half-tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. T...

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2 tampons are walking past each other, which one says "hi", first.

Neither, they're both stuck up cunts.

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A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked,

"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on...

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they gi...

A husband and his wife were always fighting each other.

When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The woman would shout - 'When I die, I will dig my way up, out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life..' Neighbours feared her and the woman liked the fact that she was feared.. To...

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A statue of a man and a statue of a woman stood looking at each other for hundreds of years.

One day a wizard, feeling sorry for the statues, brought them to life for 30 minutes. Right away, the two of them ran into some nearby bushes and you could hear all kinds of strange sounds and moans from there. After a while they came back out, giggling. The wizard told them "You have another 15 min...

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What do you call naked men standing on each other’s shoulders?

A scrotum pole.

Three Russian men are in the gulag talking with each other.

They get to talking about why there were sent to the gulag.

“I was sent here for coming early to work in the factory. I was accused of trying to put myself ahead of my fellow worker.” The first one said.

“Aye comrad I was sent for being late to work at the factory. I was accused of d...

Two engineers meet each other on their way into work ]

One of them has a new bike, and the other one asks where he got it. "Well," the first one says, "it's the funniest story. A beautiful woman rode up to me, threw down the bike, ripped off her clothes, and said 'Take what you want.'" "Good choice," said the other engineer, "the clothes probably wouldn...

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Two statues (one nude male, one nude female) sit beside each other at the entrance of Central Park…

One day, very early in the morning, an angel comes down from heaven. He looks the statues up and down, and with a flick of his wrist, *POOF!* he turns the statues into real people.

The man and woman stare at each other in amazement, but their attention soon turns to the angel, who's quite sat...

Two cheese trucks ran into each other

De brie was everywhere.

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A man and a woman are sitting beside each other on an aeroplane.

The woman sneezes and right after she is done she shudders and moans.

The man asks,"Are you alright? Because the sneezing seems normal but the shuddering and shivers... Not very much."

The woman replies,"Oh yeah, I have this rare condition where I orgasm every time sneeze."

\-"T...

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A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.

Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.

"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..

"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.

"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.

"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?

Few minutes later,...

My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday. He said; maybe they’ll marry each other.

Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...

Why eggs don't tell jokes to each other?

Because they might crack each other up. :)

How do Chinese Cowboys greet each other?

They say, "NiHowdy!"

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Three men die within 10 seconds of each other...

...go to heaven, and are greeted by Saint Peter at the gates. Saint Peter says,
"Our apologies, but due to logistics constraints, only one man can be let into heaven at a time. The man with the most interesting story goes first."
The men mumble agreement, and the first man says;
"Well, I've...

how do tiny people greet each other?

With a microwave!

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Two statues were standing in the park, one, a nude man and one, a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years.

One day an angel comes down from the sky and with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."
...

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What did the two tampons say to each other?

Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts.

I literally traded a homeless guy a cigarette for that joke. Worth it.

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It was Friday night. Frank, Jim and Ed were at the game ready to watch 26 infected zombie girls tear each other to pieces.

Tied around the inside of the arena, the infected girls are labelled A-Z, with fresh meat tied to their backs to entice them to fight. The winner is the last one standing.

Over 50,000 spectators watch from the stands behind a wire fence, betting slips in hand and eager for the fight to begin....

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A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane..

The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading.
A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more.
The man assumed that the w...

Two ships crash into each other on a densely foggy day on the ocean.

The two captains (a man and a woman) wind up in the same hospital and they fall in love. They give up their sailing careers to raise a family.

When the wife was almost ready to give birth, they decided it would be really sweet if their child chose a career that would be helpful in preventing...

What do you call a game where Germans throw bread at each other

Gluten tag

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A college professor was giving a lecture when he saw two students talking to each other.

"No talking while I'm talking, young man."

"I was just asking her a question," the student replied.

"Any question you have for her, you can direct to me," the professor said.

"Okay," the student nodded. "Will you go out with me Saturday night?"

How do viking ships communicate with each other?

Norse code

I'm gonna keep making these jokes until one blows up

A beer bottle, a mirror, and a condom are all talking to each other....

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get 7 years bad luck!

Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

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One day there were three vampires bragging about their strength and power to each other.

The first vampire said, "look at my skill" and *poof* he's gone in a blink of an eye. He comes back with his mouth covered in blood and says, "see that village over there? I have sucked dry all of the villagers' blood".

The second vampire was impressed but didn't want to seem inferior. *Poof*...

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A guy and his date are parked out in the country away from town, when they start kissing and fondling each other.

Just then, the girl stops and sits up. “What’s the matter?” asks the guy. She replies, “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a prostitute, and I charge $100 for sex.” The man thinks about it for a few seconds, but then reluctantly gets out a $100 bill, pays her, and they hav...

True love is finishing each other’s sentences

Ghislaine Maxwell must’ve really loved Jeffrey Epstein

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

Because they don’t have the guts.

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if two vegans get pissed at each other, is it still called beef?

No, because it's beyond meat

Moses and Jesus challenging each other

Jesus says “I bet you can’t part the red sea still!”
Moses raises his hands and the sea parts

Moses looks at Jesus and says “I bet you can’t walk on water still!”

Jesus walks out and then suddenly falls into the water. Moses goes out to him and asks what happened.

Jesus look...

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A Republican and Democratic congressman spot each other at Disney World with their respective families.

The Republican turns red from embarrassment.

“Look man, don’t tell any of my colleagues I was down here supporting *Disney.* They’ll eat me alive for supporting this woke company!”

The Democrat replies:

“Shit, you think I want anyone to know I was down here in Florida?”

How do cows forgive each other?

They turn the udder cheek.

Two atoms bump into each other.

2 atoms bump into each other. One says, "I think I lost an electron" The other asks,"Are you sure?"
To which the first replies, "I am positive"

What do bosses who pay their employees minimum wage and middle aged men who date eighteen year olds have in common with each other?

Both would go for lower if it were legal.

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Two pensioners are having oral sex with each other.

The man says, "I can't do this any longer. It stinks down here!"

"Sorry," The woman says. "It's my arthritis."

"Arthritis in your vagina?" He exclaims.

"No, in my shoulder. I can't wipe my ass."

France and Italy simultaneously declare war on each other

France surrenders

Italy changes sides

Both lose

Upon arriving in hell, I was surprised to find a clerk asking me, “In which military would you like to serve?” Turns out Alexander the Great, Napoleon, and Otto Von Bismarck overthrew Satan centuries ago and have been fighting each other ever since.

"Oh, that’s an easy one, ” I reply.

The clerk looked at me, skeptical.

“You don’t even want to talk to a recruiter? They can tell you all about the perks of each side.”

“No thank you. I know Napoleon will never lose.”

“Well, that’s a pretty stron...

The crew of the Titan sub didn't really like each other.

Since the accident they are all chummy now.

Me: I don’t think we should see each other anymore.

Her: Please stop saying that every time you switch off the lights at night.

Can Flemish and Dutch people understand each other?

Two Flemish men are in Holland and see a poster: "Shirts - 5 Euros". They turn to each other and say "Wow, that's cheap. Let's buy a dozen to resell them back in Belgium"

They enter the store and say, in their best possible Dutch: "We would like 10 shirts, please".

The man behind the c...

Why weren’t the two math variables speaking to each other?

Because they were x’s

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friends bet each other $100 who could make their wife scream more from sex.

The next day the first one said "I made love to my wife for 2 hours and she screamed for at least an hour and a half!" The next said he licked his wife for 2 hours and she screamed the whole time plus a half hour after that! The 3rd one said "that's nothing. I made love to my wife for ten minutes, I...

I just saw a man with a tattoo of Howard, Donald, and Daffy fighting each other.

He had all his ducks in a row.

Two wind turbines are talking to each other...

One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?"

The other turbine replies, "Well...I'm a big metal fan."

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Two friends, Sarah and Kate, who haven't met in a while, run into each other.

Sarah: You know, my boyfriend bought me a Mercedes two weeks ago.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: And yesterday, he gave me a pearl necklace.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: And in a month, we are going on a three-week-long vacation on Hawaii.

Kate: Amazing!

Sarah: Thanks. But,...

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What do you call a group of knights standing in a circle ejaculating on each other?

A Sircumference

It's the First World War, and a French Battalion and a German Battalion face each other in the trenches.

It's a rather slow day, and the Krauts sit bored in their trenches. Then, a young corporal speaks: "We really need to kill more frenchies! What can we do to lure them out?"
A young recruit asks, "What is a typical french name?"
Another answers, "Pierre."
The young recruit gets up, puts his ...

If two Homeless people are hitting each other with a cardboard boxes...

Is it a pillow fight?

What do you call 2 potatoes that hate each other?

Starch enemies

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Peanut butter and jelly don't love each other...

but I always find them in bread together.

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Bill and Joe hadn't seen each other in a long time and run in to each other in town.

After greetings and handshakes, Joe says to Bill, "you look like you've lost a lot of weight, have you been sick?

Bill "yes, I have terrible allergies, and every time I sneeze, I ejaculate."

Joe "Oh no, what do you take for that?"

Bill "ragweed!"

Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin agreed to take care of each other’s gardens.

This means Roger Waters Robert’s Plants.

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Two men are sitting next to each other on an airplane...

One man is visibly flustered. The other man leans over and asks, "Hey, is there something wrong?"

The other man replies, "Well, I'm a bit embarassed. When I was purchasing my ticket this morning, the ticket girl had the most wonderful pair of breasts. I was distracted and instead of askin...

How do dried fish greet each other?

«Long time, no sea»

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What do you call a bunch of ugly people in a flying car having an orgy because they feel sorry for each other?

A shitty pity gang bang.

MI6, CIA and KGB are competing against each other...

Last competition. The mission is to find a bear in a 10000 sq/km forest
MI6 goes first. Using dogs and 1000 agents they have found a bear in 12 hours.
CIA goes next. Using satellites and heatvisors they found a bear in 6 hours
KGB goes last. Two agents enters a forest and came out of it ...

Two men park next to each other in a parking lot.

Each man eyes the others' car and nods.

"Honda, eh? Good make." says the first man.

"Agreed," said the other. "We seem to have an Accord."

Biden and Barack don't tell each other "yo mama" jokes...

they tell each other Jo 'Bama jokes.

(I'm sorry, it's terrible)

Why don't Hindus argue with each other?

Because they can't have beef

Three vampires are bragging to each other...

The first says "Watch this." leaves, and is back in an instant, mouth covered in blood. He points at a villager and says "You see that villager? Sucked him dry."

The second, impressed, but not willing to be outdone, leaves and returns just as fast as the first, blood covering her mouth, neck ...

If you stack two tacos on top of each other, you get two tacos.

But if you stack two lasagnas on top of each other, you get one lasagna.

I have two pet rats in love with each other

They just got encaged.

Two blondes walk beside each other down the street.

One of them sees a broken piece of mirror on the ground, grabs it, looks at it and says, "This girl looks so familiar, but I can't remember where I know her from." The other girl grabs it from her hand, takes a look at it, and says, "It's me you idiot!"

What do two australians do when they like each other?

Mate.

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[NSFW] [Long]A newly wed couple movies in with each other for the first time...

A newly wed couple moves in with each other for the first time and are going through the normal aches and pains of learning to live with someone new.

For the most part, everything is going well. No big disagreements, a couple of small annoying habits, but nothing major. Though, after several ...

Two dead bodybuilders meet each other in hell

Dude 1: Hey there man, you know where I can get a protein shake around here?

Dude 2: There’s no whey in hell

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My wife and I compared each other's belly buttons to see which one is better.

It was a battle of navel supremacy.

An elderly couple next to me are talking to each other at a restaurant.

As they are talking, the man keeps calling his wife the sweetest names like Honey, Deer, Sweetie ect ect ect. When his wife excused herself to use the bathroom, I leaned over and said "I love how you talk to your wife. You call her the nicest things. It appears you two have been married for quite...

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Why dogs sniff each other's bottoms

A long time ago, dogs used to have detachable bottoms. The polite thing to do when they went places was to remove their bottom and hang it up on a hook. Kind of like a hat on a hat-rack.

Now this was a time of prohibition. The local mob boss was running a speakeasy in the basement of...

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Three men were bragging to each other at work

The first man said “After I made love to my wife last night she raised an inch off the bed”

The second said “That’s nothing, after I made love to my wife last night she raised a foot off the bed”

The third man said “I’ve beaten you both. After I made love to my wife last night I wiped ...

Three men are challenging each other's aim by shooting an apple on someone's head.

The first man fired his pistol 20 meters away, hits the apple.

"I'm James Bond." He said.

The second man shot an arrow 30 meters away, hits the apple.

"I'm Robin Hood." He said.

The third threw a boomerang 40 meters away, hits the forehead of that person.

"I'm sorr...

Why can't T-Rex's Hi-Five each other?

Because they are dead.

My friend and I had arranged a meeting to insult each other but he didn't show up

It was a diss appointment

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Two snakes bump into each other after a long time

After intial pleasantries one snake confesses that he is struggling with his failing eyesight.

The other snake suggests an eye doctor who he is sure can help the other snake improve his eye sight. They exchange addresses and part ways.

After few weeks they bump into one another again.<...

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A rich guy and a poor guy are talking with each other....

Both of them are discussing what they got their wives for their anniversary.

The rich guy tells he got his wife a diamond ring and a Mercedes. The poor guy is amazed and asked him why he got two gifts for her.
The rich guy said, "Well, if she doesn't like the ring, she can go and return...

As long as there are humans, there will always be two sides that disagree with each other.

That is something everyone can agree on.

Two radio towers fell in love with each other

They are on the same wavelength.

My brother and I got so bored, we started throwing spice jars at each other.

Then the thyme really flew.

What do you call it when two cephalopods do favors for each other?

Squid Pro Quo.

What do horses that live near each other call each other?

Neigh-bors!

Guys talk to each other by putting each other down, but they don’t really mean it.

Girls talk to each other by putting each other up... but they don’t really mean that either.

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TIL lions perform oral sex on each other.

Talk about swallowing your pride.

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Two friends run into each other

One of the friends has his face badly burned on both sides. Curious, the first guy asks him what happened to his face. The guy tells him that he was watching TV while his old lady was ironing clothes next to him, the phone rang and when he went to answer it, he picked up the ironing machine instead....

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A redneck and an annoying stranger are sitting next to each other on a 12 hour plane ride...

The stranger is pretty well dressed and, after a few drinks becomes very loud and disruptive. He starts boasting that hes the smartest man on the plane. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get people to engage with him, a stewardess tells the stranger he needs to be quiet and stop distur...

What do you call it when two actors are spying on each other?

thespianage

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Sisyfos and Oidipos meet in hell and they greet each other:

"hi rolling stone!"

"hi motherfucker!"

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A fighter pilot and a cargo pilot are flying around, talking shit to each other on the radio. The fighter pilot goes on about how much cooler he is than the cargo pilot and says, "Watch this, brah!" hits the afterburner, does a barrel roll and then a loop...

"Top that!" he shouts to the cargo pilot.

"Ok, well watch this." says the cargo pilot.

The plane just goes straight for a while.

"How'd you like that?" asks the cargo pilot.

The fighter pilot is confused and asks, "What did you do?"

The cargo pilot replies, "I went...

How to put 2 elephants in a jar without them touching each other?

You just put a third elephant between them.

Two fortune tellers meet each other.

One of them says:

"Hello! Your day was fine. How about mine?"

I know a couple for 20 years, and I’ve never seen them smile or laugh at each other.

They are …..in a very serious relationship.

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Two people from Japan meet each other at a tourist attraction in the USA.

"Where will you be going next?" asks the first person.
"Ohio," says the second.
"Good morning to you too, but that didn't answer my question," says the first person.

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Three samurais compete with each other

Three samurais are sitting around a camp fire when suddenly, one boasts. "I am the world's best swordsman!" - he stands up, whips out his sword and cut a fly in half.

The second samurai says,"No, I'm the best." and he sees a fly -his sword flashes twice- then the fly falls into 4 pieces.
<...

My dad and I play hide and seek a lot to beat each other's record. My record is 2 hours until he found me.

His record is 20 years and still counting.

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Two old women are talking to each other.

One says "I think I have cancer, I found 2 lumps under my breasts". The other replies "oh you old hag, it's not cancer honey, those are your kneecaps!"

Two guys are sitting next to each other in a bar.

"You know," one says, "I love Guiness. It takes me back to Ireland, where I was raised."

"You're kidding!" says the second patron. "I was born in Ireland too!"

The men toast Ireland, laugh, and keep drinking. The bartender shakes his head.

"So where in Ireland are you from?"
...

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other

So now it's just a waiting game.

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A wolf and a rabbit hated each other...

One day, the pair were walking through an enchanted forest when they discovered a magical frog trapped in a hole. The frog promised to grant them each three wishes if they helped him escape. The two rescued the frog, and after they set him safely on the ground, the frog croaked, "thank you! Now I wi...

What do you call two apples next to each other?

A pear.

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Two guys sitting next to each other on a plane...

They each have one black eye. After about 20 minutes one guy finally looks to the other and says "Okay, I gotta know, how did you get yours?"

They guy laughs and shakes his head "It's actually pretty funny. I was in the airport getting a ticket for this flight and, well the woman behind the c...

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Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to California. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.

At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why Hooters?"
"They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the
gorgeous legs."
"You're on."
At age 42, they meet and play golf again "W...

Three children talking to each other...

The 1st kid : "My dad loves cars, so he is a car driver."

The 2nd kid : "My dad loves buses, so he is a bus driver."

The 3rd kid(not sure what his dad loves) : "My dad always screws up,so he is a screwdriver."

Did you know Napoleon and his wife are buried next to each other?

They're only a Bonaparte

How do guilt-ridden spies communicate with each other?

Remorse code

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What did the two boobs say to each other?

We are going to be breast friends.

*Badum tits*

During a history-themed comedy roast night, we couldn't decide whether to roast each other as ancient Roman gods or ancient Egyptian gods.

In the end, we agreed to diss a Greek.

When German children play a game involving touching each other with bread...

it's called gluten tag.

I'll show myself out.

Why can't contractors shoot each other with sealant?

Because caulk fighting is illegal.

What did Sine and Cos say to each other?

Nothing; They just waved.

You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons.

Isn’t that Ionic?

I met this vegetarian girl who said we knew each other

But I never met herbivore.

Two great musicians hated each other

And after years of always being compared to one another, they finally decided to have a duet of guitars to see which was the better player. They carefully selected an audience of musical experts, and with that they played.

After a fifteen minutes duet, the vote was cast. Amazingly, the result...

Imagine America's best dentists competing against each other in fixing dental problems

We'll call the show "Top Gum"

How do Jewish skiers greet each other?

Slalom

Different body parts rate each other

The Brain to the Liver: “You’re a 6.”

The Spleen to the Colon: “You’re a 7.”

The Urethra to the Bladder: “Urinate.”

How do chickens keep each other entertained?

They tell bok bok jokes.

A man meets a foreign girl, they flirt with each other, and end up sleeping with each other.

After the man came, he asked her 'you finish'?

She shook her head.

Dutifully the men got back to work, and after another round of lovemaking he asked her 'you finish?'

The girl shook her head again.

The man barely had any energy left, but continued the lovemaking none...

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Two women died and were waiting at the gates of heaven. They talked to each other.

“How did you die?”

“I froze to death. It was painful and took a long time. And you? How did you die?”

“A heart attack. I suspected my husband was cheating on me and I came home suddenly. He was alone in our bedroom. But I felt his girlfriend was somewhere! So I spend a long time lookin...

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Made for each other - a thread

How would you describe the perfect couple of eggs?

- Laid for each other

How would you describe the perfect couple of prostitutes?

- Paid for each other

How would you describe the perfect couple of necrophilliacs?

- Dead for each other

How would you desc...

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Why do nation states have to piss on each other??

Because they’re in continents

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