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Dwarves Jokes

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Two virgin dwarves

Two virgin dwarves decide to go to a local brothel.

They arrive at the brothel, organise payment and are allocated a girl and a room each.

The first dwarf, lying on the bed next to the prostitute, starts to feel really self-conscious and nervous and can't get an erection however hard h...

I got mugged by 6 dwarves today

Not Happy.

PSA: Please don't call them dwarves...

It's not the proper gnomenclature.

One morning Snow White said to her prince, "I haven't visited the seven dwarves in ages. I think I'll visit them for a week."

The next day, Snow white came back to the castle in a huff.

"Why are you back so early?" asked the prince.

"Grumpy harassed me," replied Snow White.

"What happened?"

"Well, as soon as I entered the cottage, he told me my hair smelled nice."

"That doesn't sound like...

Seven dwarves

The 7 dwarves are all relaxing in the hot tub, feeling happy.


So Happy got out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The seven dwarves went to the Vatican and when the Pope answered the door, Dopey stepped forward...

"Your Excellency," he said. "I wonder if you could tell me if there are any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

"No, Dopey, there aren't," the Pope replied.

Behind Dopey, the six dwarfs started to titter.

"Well, are there any dwarf nuns in Italy?" Dopey persisted.

"No, none in Italy,...

I went to a restaurant run by dwarves and the service was terrible

In their defence, they're short staffed

I was shocked to read this. Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves

aren't Happy

I got a job crafting toy models of the dwarves from Snow White.

The pay sucks, but I'm not lying when I tell people I make seven figures.

A group of dwarves get jobs as coal miners

After a week or so, one of the workers really stood out and was getting special treatment from the supervisor, Moe. The other dwarves complained to HR and threatened to go on strike.
The supervisor was called into the office and reprimanded. He explained that he was only trying to keep the harde...

What did Snow White complain after a week with the dwarves?

"I would have rather have a 7 inch one time than one inch 7 times"

How do dwarves get away with crimes?

through forgery

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Snow white and the seven dwarves were in a bathtub together.

Soon they were all feeling grumpy.

So he got up and left.

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So two dwarves win the lottery to celebrate they decide to get two hockers

They both go into a hotel room, they get a room side-by-side. One dwarf goes into one, the other goes into the other.

First dwarf sits on the bed and thinks, 'I think can't do it' and decides to kick her out. He sits on the bed and all night he hears from the other room is 'eh eh eh'. He fina...

How many dwarves can fit in a box?

I'm not sure you should ask Snow White

What did the 7 dwarves sing as they went into the brothel?

"Hi Ho, Hi Ho"

After which they hear the response from inside - "It's off to work we go"

I’ll tell you what I know about dwarves.

Very little.

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This is the first dirty joke my dad ever told me

So Dopey and the other seven dwarves go to visit the pope. Doc goes up to the pope and asks, "Pope can you tell me, are there any dwarf nuns in the Vatican?"

He thinks for a moment. "No", he says, "There are no dwarf nuns in the Vatican."

The other dwarves chuckle.

"Well can yo...

Snow White started a tutoring center for the Dwarves to teach them math.

She called it "Making the Little Things Count"

Why do dwarves laugh when they play soccer?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

7 dwarves were in a room and they started feeling sleepy.

So he left.

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Three dwarves are sitting around having a few drinks

Dwarf #1 says:

Sometimes I get bummed out being a dwarf. But at least it is good for something. The other day I was flipping through the Guinness Book of World Records, and I found out that I have the shortest arms in the world.

The other two dwarves don't believe him. So they get a co...

Why were the seven dwarves always sober?

Because no one would serve alcohol to miners...

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What did the seven dwarves say to the prostitute?

Hi hoe

Why is it harder for older dwarves to make rugs?

Carpet tunnel syndrome

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The seven dwarves went to the Vatican

While six stayed back a few yards Doc went up and knocked on the front door.

"Your Excellency," he said. "I wonder if you could tell me if there are any 3 ft tall nuns in Rome?"

"No, my son, there aren't," the Pope replied.

So Doc went back and told the others. Pretty soon Ba...

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What do you call it when 3 dwarves have sex together?

A 1-and-a-half some.

Six dwarves in a bath were feeling happy. So happy got out.

Once happy got out then they all felt grumpy.

By the time grumpy escaped they were feeling sleepy. Sleepy didn't seem to notice.

3 Dwarves.....

2 nuns are walking down the street when they come across 3 of the 7 dwarves in an argument
"Did Too"
"DID NOT"
"Did Too"
"DID NOT"

After a moment, the dwarves notice the sisters and approach them

"Excuse me Sisters, do you know if there happen to be any dwarven nuns?"
...

I was robbed by 6 dwarves

I'm Grumpy!

What do you call a party of dwarves with very low constitution?

An extra short campaign

What would dwarves name a movie about an underground drinking tournament.

Need for Mead.

Breaking news! Snow White down to six dwarves...

...Sneezy has been quarentined by the CDC

Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?

Because the early beard gets the wyrm

Pope and the Seven Dwarves

The Pope arrives to give a small sermon to Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Shortly into the sermon, Dopey puts his hand up and asks, "Are there any dwarven nuns in Rome?"

"No", the Pope replies, and continues his service.

Not long passes and Dopey puts his hand up again and as...

Little people are often referred to as dwarves...

...but that's a misgnomer

A genie granted me one wish, so I said "I just want to be happy."

Now I'm living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.

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Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Snow White, while living among the dwarves, had come to puberty. This did not go unnoticed by the dwarves. Being the little perverts they are, they decided to climb on each other's shoulders outside her window to peep on her changing. The one on top would then whisper the one below what he sees, who...

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What do the seven Dwarves say whenthey meet a couple of prostitutes?

Hi Ho, Hi Ho....


And when the prostitutes turn them down?


It's off to jerk we go...

Thanks to the pandemic, only six of the seven dwarves are allowed to meet up this Christmas...

None of them is Happy.

Why are Hispanic dwarves called Paragraphs?

They're too short to be called Essays.

A new comprehensive study found that only ~14.3% of dwarves are Happy

The study went on to show that the rest of them are Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey, Bashful, Sneezy, and Doc.

What kind of deodorant do dwarves use?

They don't like to choose but when they do they pickaxe

Want to know what I know about dwarves?

Very little.

Heard from a friend. It's awful, I know.

Due to Covid, the seven dwarves have been told that they can only meet in groups of 6.

One of them isn't happy.

Every evening, after they were finished with their work at the diamond mines, on their way home to their cottage, the seven dwarves would stop at a bar.

The bartender knew that the dwarves all liked hazelnut daiquiris, so every time the dwarves arrived at the bar, he would make sure that they all had hazelnut daiquiris.

One afternoon, when the bartender was making the daiquiris, he realized that he only had enough hazelnut extract to make six...

Why the dwarves surf in the kitchen?

Because it has microwaves

A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"

The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

A couple of dwarves got arrested...

A couple of dwarves got arrested in London the other day.

They got charged for possession of small arms.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you make jokes about dwarves giving fellatio?

It's a bit of a low blow...

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What did the 7 dwarves say when Snow White finally woke up?

"Looks like we're back to jerking off again".

Did you hear about the shop that only employed dwarves?

It had to close because it was short staffed.

Which of Jupiter's moons is the best according to the Seven Dwarves?

Io, Io...

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Ever wonder how the seven dwarves got their names?

Ever wonder how the seven dwarves got their names?

Miss Snow White was a randy cow,

And desperate for a fuck.

So off she went into the woods,

To try and get some luck!

She'd almost given up looking,

When she saw some chimney smoke.

Then stumble...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 dwarves. (kinda nsfw)

3 dwarves (very short fellas. Like the size of a thumb) are all looking for a place to live. They go around the world looking and finally decide the best place to settle down is on a womans body. The first one decides that he wants to live between the breasts. The second one chooses the stomach and ...

The dwarves were quite short, and Snow White's bedroom was on the second floor.

At night when she was changing into her night clothes, they stood on each other's shoulders so one of them could peek through her window and relay the goings on to the ones below.

"What's she doing now", the lower dwarf would ask. "She's taking off her skirt", would come the answer.

...

What did Snow White get when she went to the pub with the Dwarves?

Seven Up n' Cider

How many dwarves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two; one to hold the bulb and the other to serve him beer until the room starts spinning.

What do you call 13 dwarves and a hobbit inside a mountain?

A *smaugasbord*.

My password needed to be 8 characters.

So I used “Snow White and the Seven
Dwarves.”

Scientists say, six out of seven dwarves are not happy.

-- As seen on QI.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a Mother Superior was attending to some matters just outside the main doors of her convent. She noticed that the Seven Dwarves had huddled some distance from her...

... and, as they argued amongst themselves, they kept throwing looks her way. After some time, one of them separated from the group to approach her. It was Doc.

“Good morning, Mother Sister. I mean Mother Superior. Really sorry to bother you, but could you help us settle an argument?”

...

*At the library*

“Do you have a book about the discrimination of dwarves?”

“Left corner, on the top shelf!”

I needed a password eight characters long.

I went with *SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarves*

Snow White decides to take a cruise

Snow White decides to take a cruise, but she can't bring all of the dwarves with her. To make sure she has a good time, she only brings along happy and sleepy.

Unfortunately when they go to board the boat there's a problem.

There's no doc

Dwarf enters the library

"One book on discrimination of dwarves, please." - says the dwarf


"Third row..." - replies the librarian - "top shelf."

I've been doing my psychology PhD thesis on the mental health and wellbeing of little people. After 4 long years and multiple studies, I've concluded...

6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.

An Act of Malicious Conpliance

Teacher: Write a short story. You have a strict 140-character limit.

Student: Once upon a time, Snow White lived with 139 Dwarves. The end.

New lockdown rules in England...

New lockdown rules in England mean from Monday groups of up to six can meet. Six of the Seven Dwarves are arranging to meet up.

One of them isn’t Happy.

I said to the doctor that I felt short and depressed

He reminded me that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.

What do dwarves and hipsters have in common? (just made this joke up, help me if I can word it better)

They're underground, and it's hard to tell males from females.

or something like that =)

I was at a party in middle earth last night. TreeBeard got wasted and started dunking hobbits into a giant punch-bowl of booze. The dwarves laughed and begged for a turn. Soon, a queue of creatures had formed on his branches, eager to take the plunge. I didn’t get in line. I knew it was a trick…

Because the real punch-line is always in the calm ents

My girlfriend asked if I was Happy

to be fair, she always gets us dwarves confused

You know this Coronavirus thing is bad

When Snow White is down to 6 dwarves. I just heard sneezy is now in quarantine

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