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Hunchback Jokes

A hunchback and a guy with a club foot meet each Friday at the pub.

One Friday, lamenting their disabilities, they complain about the length of their walk. "It would be great to short cut through the cemetery" says the guy with the hunchback. "That cemetery is haunted" says the guy with the club foot, "It's madness to walk through there at night!".

After enj...

The hunchback didn't believe he needed back surgery

He stands corrected.

My favourite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story

Did you hear about the hunchback who lost his job?

He doesn’t ring any bells?

My wife said, “For the life of me, I cannot remember the name of The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

Me: Does ….Quasimodo ring a bell?

Someone asked me the other day if I'd heard of the hunchback of Notre Dame.

I told them it rings a bell.

A blind guy and a hunchback…

A blind guy and a hunchback were drinking in a bar. The hunchback suddenly remembered he promised his wife he would be home before midnight. So he rushes home, taking a shortcut through the cementery.


While walking through this cemetery he suddenly hears: “BOO, i am a ghost, what’s on y...

The Hunchback of Notre Dame had died

The priests realized they would need a new person to ring the bells. They decided to hold auditions. After advertising the position in the town center there was a long line of peasants waiting to try out the next day.

One by one the priests called the peasants forward to pull the rope, ring t...

A man with a hunchback, limp and massive bald spot is sitting in a bar, drinking his beer

When a knock out blonde sits next to him, smiles and says "Hey, can I buy you a drink?" Man, dumbfounded, can only nod. He gets his drink and woman keeps flirting. Guy, thinking this must be some sort of prank isn't engaging when she suddenly asks if he wants to go to her place. "What the hell, why ...

Hunchbacks would make great detectives

They can start off every investigation saying, "Hmm, I have a hunch".

How does a hunchback sleep?

With eyes closed

A hunchbacked man was walking through the cemetery at night

Suddenly a loud voice said:

- Man, are you hunchbacked?

- Yes, I'm hunchbacked

- No man, you're not hunchbacked!!!

- No, I'm hunchbacked!

- No man, you're not hunchbacked!

A man run home, looked at the mirror, but there really was no hump.
Full of joy he ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

There once was a man who went by the name of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Every morning and every afternoon he would go to the top of his tall bell tower and ring the bell. But he was getting old and it was getting too hard on his body. So he decided to put up advertisements for a new bell boy.
<...

My friends keep calling me the hunchback of Notre Dame

Its not about my posture though, it's cuz my house burned down.

A man with a hunchback was walking trough the cemetery.

A ghost spooks him with a question.
- What is that on your back ? the ghost asks.
- Its a hunchback ! the man replies.
- Can i have it ? asks the ghost.
- Shure !!! and the trade is done.
Mindblown,the man goes to his wimp-leg friend and tell him the story.As soon as he finishes tell...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hunchback and his lame buddy are drinking in a bar...

A hunchback and his lame buddy are drinking in a bar. It's getting close to midnight and the hunchback says he needs to get home to the wife. He finishes his drink and says goodnight to his mate.

Realizing the wife will cuss him out for coming home drunk and late he decides to take a shortc...

so the hunchback of notre dame died yesterday

and so today they are looking for a new guy to ring the bell.So they interviewed a few guys until the very last one but they were shocked to see he had no arms or legs so they asked "how are you going to ring the bell". He said "easy ill use my head" so they hired him and the next day he rang the be...

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A hunchback man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey.

Bartender says "bells alright?"

The man replies "don't you fucking start"

A hunchback kid came home from school crying

Mom: why you cry son


Kid: kids at school telling me "fu***ng hunchback"


Mom: let's enroll you at karate school so you can beat them up


*kid enrolls at karate school*


- A MONTH LATER -


*kid still came home from school crying*

<...

Years ago, while ringing the bells of Notre Dame, Quasimodo caught his fingernail in the rope and his fingernail was pulled out.

It was the first time the people of Paris heard a hunchback wail.

What do terrorists, and a filming of The Hunchback of Notre Dame have in common?

They were both shot on location.

The Bell Ringer

A bishop advertises a job to ring the bell in his tower. The only job applicant is a hunchback with no arms. Bishop: "How can you do the job? You can't pull the rope!" Hunchback: "I have a plan - but we have to go to the top of the tower, where the bell is." .. So they climb all those stairs to the ...

Perfect

The Priest exclaimed “Everything God made is perfect.”

Quasimodo slowly rose from the pew and stated “Father I beg to differ with you, just look at me.”

The Priest stood a moment looking then said “Well, you are the most perfect hunchback I have ever seen.”

As a hunchback, I didn't think a Chiropractor would be able to help....

But I stand corrected.

A Dark And Stormy Night In Transylvania

Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe, near Transylvania. They re driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It is late, raining very hard and Bob can barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control. Bob attempts to control it, ...

I love it when the main character in a movie has a twisted back story...

Probably why 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' is one of my all-time favourites!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A retired Marine walks into a bar...

with a noticeable limp from combat injuries. He hobbles up to the bar and asks for a whiskey. He sees a familiar face at the end of the bar and asks the bartender, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nods, so the Marine buys Jesus a whiskey.

A frail, hunchback woman comes in the bar,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Quasimodo is fed up of being the bell ringer of Notre Dame and wants to quit...

He puts an ad out in the newspaper,

"NEW BELL RINGER NEEDED FOR NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL, TRIALS THIS SUNDAY AT THE BELL TOWER".

Sunday comes around and Quasimodo is waiting patiently at the base of his tower. No one has turned up and he's losing faith that anyone will before the Sunday s...

Now that Lucasfilm is owned by Disney . . .

Will ILM be removing the Notre Dame Cathedral from the Hunchback cartoon?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jesus at the bar

A British guy with a hunch back walks into a bar, he sits down at the end of the bar and looks over and sees a man who looks like Jesus, he calls the bartender over and asks him "excuse me sir is that Jesus over there?", the bartender says "Why yes it is" the British man says bring him one of your f...

Quasimodo needs a vacation.

He goes to the Dean of the cathedral and asks for a leave. He’s told taking time off is OK if he will arrange for someone to take his place temporarily. So Quasimodo posts a job on LinkedIn for a bell ringer.
Several people respond but the best candidates were a pair of twins. They were quite eag...

A man cant get something out of his eye...

So he goes to the doctor. He tells about his problem to the receptionist and she writes "Strange body lodged in eye", and tells him to wait. She takes the charts to the doctor and the man goes to sit somewhere else. A few minutes go by, and the doctor comes out. He reads the chart and screams:
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Adjutant

In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a South African bush outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.
After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc) which protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, ...

Story with a moral

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out t...

Long ago, there was a cathedral...

The old bell ringer had passed away and the bishop set out a sign announcing that the position was now open for new applicants. A few weeks go by without any bites, but one day a man comes in. The man had a hunched back and no arms, so the bishop was leary of his ability to perform the job, but t...

Paddy and Micky in a bar..

Paddy is a hunchback. Micky walks with a limp. They both have too much to drink and are discussing how their wives are going to kill them for going home late.

"I know a shortcut home through the graveyard!" declares Paddy.

"No way!" says Micky, "I've heard strange stories about that gr...

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