When you choke a smurf,

what color does it turn?

What do you get when a Smurf pees on your lawn?


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What is Papa Smurf's favorite type of porn?


What do you call 10 smurfs in a blender?

Blue Man Goop

Which Smurf does the recycling?

Smurfette, she's the only one with a blue box.

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On a bright day, a Smurf decides to go fishing. He picks up his pole but stops at the door. “Wait a minute,” he says. “When I walk through the door, Farmer Smurf will say, ‘So you’re going fishing, Smurf?’ And the Smurfs at the pond will all ask if they’re biting.’ And when I get home with no f...

So someone impregnated Smurfette while Papa Smurf was away

Papa Smurf wanted to get to the bottom of this so he lined up every Smurf for some questions.

First was Brainy Smurf and as orders Papa Smurf asks him did he use a condom - "I did Papa Smurf"

Second was Clumsy Smurf and he answered the same

Third was Vanity Smurf and so on... 5...

What kind of work do smurfs do?

Blue jobs

I’m surprised Papa Smurf isn’t depressed

I mean, he constantly has blue balls

What happens when you squeeze a smurf?

You papa smurf!

What do you call a smurf with his pants down?

A blue moon

Blue lives matter

There’s only 100 smurfs, their an endangered species.

How do you know if your house was burgled by smurfs?

Look for blueprints

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What's Blue and lies under a mushroom ?

Smurf poop

My dads favorite joke (long)

A rabbit is hopping along the woods one day, minding his own business, when he comes across a little village.

He hears laughing and general good humor echoing from the little town so he decides to investigate.

The rabbit hides behind a little bush and what he finds he almost can’t ex...

Very long.

First off, let me describe to you a little creature.

There lives in the forest a little guy known as a 'Twid'. A Twid resembles nothing so much as a Smurf on psychedelics. They have punked out hair, multi-colored skin, tattoos and piercings. Also, the sole reason for a Twid's existence on th...

My wife accused me of being immature and having an overactive imagination...

Well, what does she know, she's just a smurf.

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Young naive couple

A young naïve newlywed couple from rural China decided to move to America to start a new life with nothing but big dreams and the love for each other. They arrived at their new home in rural Minnesota, and although they were happy and still in love, the first couple of months were difficult. They ...

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