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Move In Jokes

A man has his mother-in-law move in with him when she lost her job.

About a week later, he returns home from his job and finds her laying on the floor, unconscious. He calls 911, the ambulance comes and takes her off to the hospital.

He calls his wife and tells her she may have to cut her business trip short, but he'll keep her posted.

He gets to the ...

My wife desperately wants me to move in with my mother.

My mother was buried 13 years ago.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm glad I let my girlfriend move in with me.

If it wasn't for her, I'd have never known shoes don't fucking go there.

Being the first to move in chess.

It's a white privilege.

What is Michael Bay's favorite move in chess?

C4

Just an FYI. I had a Korean family move in next door to me.

And I'm all cool with that, cuz I'm not prejudice or anything like that with having any minority families in the neighborhood.

But I do want to tell you, it's really made my dog nervous.

A newly-wed couple move in together

Cynthia had known that Andrew was obsessed with football ("soccer"), but she hadn't realised just how much. Andrew spent hours every day watching games, reading commentary, and analysing player stats. As she did not care much for the sport, Cynthia was hoping to convince him to spend more time with ...

I learned a new move in fencing class today.

Riposte

I was at a Chinese buffet filling up my plate when I noticed something move in one of the food trays.

I disregarded it and continued filling up my plate before heading back to the table.

After I finished I went up again and made sure to keep an eye on that tray and lo and behold something moved again! This time I get a better look and it appeared to be a pair of eyes pop up, see me and quick...

Homes are so expensive in my area I had to move into my friend's bouncy castle.

The rent's pretty expensive, but it's mostly due to inflation.

— So my wife left me yesterday. She said she was gonna move in with Simon, my best friend.

— Since when is Simon your best friend?
— Since yesterday.

Did you hear about the fairy godmother that needed extra minutes to decide her first move in a chess game?

Wants pawn time.

What did The Terminator say to convince his girlfriend to move in with him?

Live with me if you want to come.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A widow, Claire, was looking to move away from the city, and looked for a small town to live her final years in.

She drove a few hours out into the countryside to find a good place to move into. Eventually she came by Barkstown, and this peculiar name piqued her curiosity.

She drove in and was amazed by the amount of dogs there were in this town, but she was getting hungry from not eating all day.
...

A policeman knocked on my door this morning...

...but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence.
After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it.
The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in the hope that he would just go away.
Then he decided to look through the window.
He...

Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election?

Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom.

There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom. One day, while she was browsing through a shop on her own, she spotted a really beautiful doll. It would make a perfect addition to her collection. She only hoped she had enough money to buy it.

“...

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