This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm glad I let my girlfriend move in with me.

If it wasn't for her, I'd have never known that shoes don't fucking go there.

Did you hear about the fairy godmother that needed extra minutes to decide her first move in a chess game?

Wants pawn time.

I was at a Chinese buffet filling up my plate when I noticed something move in one of the food trays.

I disregarded it and continued filling up my plate before heading back to the table.

After I finished I went up again and made sure to keep an eye on that tray and lo and behold something moved again! This time I get a better look and it appeared to be a pair of eyes pop up, see me and quick...

— So my wife left me yesterday. She said she was gonna move in with Simon, my best friend.

— Since when is Simon your best friend?
— Since yesterday.

Being the first to move in chess...

Is white privilege.

What's the most explosive opening move in chess?

C4

I learned a new move in fencing class today.

Riposte

What did The Terminator say to convince his girlfriend to move in with him?

Live with me if you want to come.

A newly-wed couple move in together

Cynthia had known that Andrew was obsessed with football ("soccer"), but she hadn't realised just how much. Andrew spent hours every day watching games, reading commentary, and analysing player stats. As she did not care much for the sport, Cynthia was hoping to convince him to spend more time with ...

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A college freshman is moving into his dorm room.

His father is helping him move in when they meet his new roommate.

His new roommate, with a heavy Southern accent, is very friendly: with a big smile he asks,

"Where y'all from?"

The freshman and his dad sneer at him, and the freshman says,

"We are from a place where we d...

Owning a house is like the music of Bill Withers.

When you move in it’s like “Lovely Day”, but after a few years it’s more like “Lien On Me”.

An oil prospector is waiting at the gates of heaven.

St. Peter had some bad news for an oil prospector who appeared at the pearly gates of heaven: “You’re qualified for admission,” said St. Peter, “but, as you can see, the section for oil prospectors is packed. There’s no way to fit you in.”

After a moment, the prospector asked to say just four...

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A widow, Claire, was looking to move away from the city, and looked for a small town to live her final years in.

She drove a few hours out into the countryside to find a good place to move into. Eventually she came by Barkstown, and this peculiar name piqued her curiosity.

She drove in and was amazed by the amount of dogs there were in this town, but she was getting hungry from not eating all day.
...

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