This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Got sacked from work because my boss caught me masturbating in my cubicle. I did it because it helps me focus.

Goes without saying - I regret cumming to work today

I asked my friend why has he stopped making jokes and puns about Trump after he was sacked from the White House.

He said he's Biden his time

I've been sacked from my job as a chef after spending every shift chopping herbs instead of cooking meals.

They couldn't be dealing with thyme wasters.

I was sacked yesterday for being a pervert.

I don't understand why, I'm always hard at work.

Just been sacked from my dream job as a maths teacher. Been there since 2010

What a waste of 15 years!

Got sacked from my job as a zoo keeper.

But as I said in my disciplinary

"all the signs say DON'T feed the animals"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was sacked today for having sex with a customer in the back of my taxi.

I say taxi... technically it's a hearse.

You hear about the quarterback who switched teams after being sacked 8 times??

The grass was greener on the other side of defense.

My buddy has been sacked from his job in recycling.

I can't believe he has gone and thrown it all away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I nearly got sacked when I was caught masturbating on my first day starting a job as a roofer

Luckily, the boss said I could wipe the slate clean...

Why did the man get sacked from the calendar factory?

He decided to take a few days off

I got sacked from my job at the guillotine factory today

It’s a cut throat business

I've just been sacked from my job as a prophet..

Did *not* see that coming.

I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs

Wrong plaice, wrong thyme

I just got sacked from my job as a veterinary surgeon

I got caught looking at pictures of frogspawn

Why did the cross eyed teacher get sacked?

He couldn't control his pupils.

I was an accountant

I was an accountant from age 22 to 35, when because of office politics, I was sacked for no reason.

What a waste of 15 years.

I got sacked from the dodgems.

I'm going to take them to court and win the case based on funfair dismissal.

Been working mornings in a juice factory, but I got sacked today.

Don't blame them though, I couldn't concentrate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Looking for some jokes to cheer up my Grandmother

My grandfather recently passed away and I’ve became my grandmothers carer. She loves a good joke here and there however I’m quickly running out of material. Some examples of what she likes are..

‘A man walks into the doctors and says doctor doctor I have 5 penises. Blimey says the doctor, how...

Derek Acorah got sacked from Most Haunted for advertising bio-yoghurt in breech of his contract.

That's what you get for dabbling in the Yakult.

I got sacked from a job for smiling too much…

I said, "If I can't smile on the job, get yourself another undertaker."

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