OFFICER: The victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an alter made of antlers.
Detective: dear god
Officer: most likely yes
upvote downvote report
Some people like dismembered hands.
It's just not my Thing
upvote downvote report
What did the psychopath say to the dismembered immortal?
You talk too much. Stop while you're a head.
upvote downvote report
What do you called a dismembered nose?
Nobody knows.
upvote downvote report
What do you do with a dismembered friend?
Remember them
upvote downvote report
A man gets pulled over by the police.
Robert: Is something wrong, officer?
Officer: Yes, you were driving too fast.
Robert: Okay, I understand.
Officer: May I see your driver's license, please?
Robert: I would like to let you see it if I had one.
Officer: You do not have a driver's license?
Robe...
upvote downvote report
After months of detective work, police have uncovered the bodies of a number of missing persons...
These bodies which number in the dozens, were buried in the backyard of a suspected mass murderer. Upon investigation, the police found a series of mass graves. These holes had been dug up by the alleged killer, and contained dismembered body parts, including torsos, extremities, and decapitated hea...
upvote downvote report
NPR recently started a heavy metal band.
'All Things Dismembered'
upvote downvote report
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
He immediately unleashes a vicious roundhouse kick, decapitating a rabbi, a priest, and a Buddhist in one blow. At the next table, he beard-punches a blonde, a brunette and a redhead, killing all three. Three bouncers, an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Pollack, were dismembered in seconds.
Ch...
upvote downvote report
It is the year 2066.
Scientists in the space colony on Mars are testing the feasibility of using animals to navigate the natural landscape. They decide to send a cat in a spacesuit with a radio collar and a camera to roam around.
After a day, they notice the radio collar hasn't been moving in several hours. The s...
upvote downvote report
There's this British RAF pilot in WW2, and he's been captured by the Germans....
the Krauts have him tied up and they're interrogating him.
"Tell us about your seekret plans, or vee vill cut off your leg!"
The Pilot, dashing and resolute, refuses, but before they cut off his leg, he asks them to please drop it over England on their next bombing raid, so it can rest...
upvote downvote report
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Two men walk into an Irish bar, one of them pushing a wheelbarrow full of body parts...
When the bartender sees this the bartender exclaims "Jesus Christ, Murphy, what in God's name is that?"
Murphy replies "Don't you recognize me old pal Smitty?"
"Well what the hell happened to him?"
Murphy sighs "Well me and Smitty and Mickey here we're walking down the street ...
upvote downvote report
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Tarzan was swinging through the jungle high in the canopy and his vine breaks....
He fell hitting jagged branches and thorns for about a hundred feet or so and slammed into the ground below wounded and dying.
A few hours later a witch doctor comes across him and decides to drag his lifeless body to his hut to try to help him. The witch Dr. examines Tarzan and sees that dur...
upvote downvote report
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.