Specialise Jokes - 20 Hilarious Specialise Jokes

Did you hear about the late barber who specialised in colouring senior citizens' hair?

He dyed an old man.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the sex worker who specialised in kinky clients?

He had a big threesome set up. Didn't go very well though...
He got off on the wrong foot.

I specialise in a certain type of dark humour

You won't get it, it's for blind people

I know a Spanish comedian who specialises in short jokes.

His name's Juan Lina.

Dermatologist here. I can't decide whether to specialise in psoriasis, or dermatitis. This indecision has put my career back 10 years.

I can't make a rash decision.

What do you call a veterinarian who specialises in only one species?

A Doctor

I once knew a mexican carpenter who specialised in bedroom furniture, and he always bragged about never sleeping with the same girl twice.

Juan Nightstand

I work for a company who specialises in vacuum packed marine mammals.

We're famous for our airtight seal.

Did you hear about the incontinent woodworker?

He specialised in staining chairs

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Did you know ISIS has its own sex toy factory?

There specialise in blow up dolls

Dark humor xD

A husband got called into a hospital. His wife's just had a really bad car accident... He's pacing nervously in waiting hall expecting the doctor to come out of the OR. Finally the doctor comes out.

- 'How is she, doctor?'
- 'Well, she's alive... and that's good news. But there is some bad...

'What kind of work do you do?' a woman passenger enquired of the man travelling in her train compartment. 'I'm a Naval surgeon,' he replies.

My word!' spluttered the woman, 'How you doctors specialise these days.'

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[NSFW] What do male pornstars and miners have in common?

They both specialise in drilling 'ores.

Got offered a job today

Its with a company that specialises in cleaning mirrors. Great pay and something I can really see my self doing.

Arts>Science

Just realised arts students can now pay for their college fees... if they specialise in electronics as well.

After the car crash that left me brain-damaged, things were really looking down

I used to be a carcinologist that specialised in lobsters. I loved what I did, but I couldn't even get out of the house on my own after the accident, much less go to work. I fell into a deep depression.

My scientist friends wanted to cheer me up, and so they engineered a robot lobster tha...

A blind man...

...is having a leisurely walk with his guide dog. They enter a store that specialise in fine ceramics. The blind man bends down and grabs his dog by the tail and starts rotating, swinging the poor dog around with great force. The dog smashes into the shelves and breaks everything around them. The do...

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A chicken walks into a bar..

..and orders five flagons of mead. After the fourth alcoholic beverage, the bartender asks him..

 

"Hey buddy why the long fac..oh wait not a horse lol."

 

The chicken gulps down his fifth drink and laments.

 

"You see, that ott...

John started working in a color pigment company...

John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced colo...

CIA Agent arrested in Russia

A CIA agent is arrested in Moscow and charged with spying. The agent is fluent in Russian and has had years of specialised training on how to blend in with the Russian people. he's the perfect sleeper agent.
Down in the darkest dungeons beneath Kremlin the Russian Secret Service (FSS) begin thei...

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