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Nietzsche Jokes

The dyslexic book club is reading Nietzsche.

They just got to the part where the dog dies.

If Friedrich Nietzsche had been a Rastafarian,

Would he have had existential dreads?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Friedrich Nietzsche opened a club.

Overnight, it became the hottest new place in town. It seemed like everyone was turned away at the door for not meeting dress code. Eventually, one guy shows up and fights the bouncer after being rejected. When he won, the bouncer stripped naked, handed the guy his clothes, and told him he could hea...

Why can't Nietzsche use pencils?

Because they're all pointless

Friedrich Nietzsche Dies

As he ascends up to heaven, he begins to get worried that he might be wrong about atheism. He gets even more worried when he finally reaches heaven, and it looks just like how all those religious people said it would.

Then an old man with a big white beard comes up to him, and says "I'm God, ...

Haegel, Nietzsche and Aristotle walk into a bar...

Why?

What was Nietzsche's biggest problem?

Nothing.

Nietzsche declared God dead,

Jesus Declared God Dad.

Nietzsche tells a joke.

A man walks into a bar.

The man sees himself sitting at a booth in the bar.

The bar blinks out of existence.

God is dead.

Nietzsche runs into Plato in the afterlife...

Plato seemed to be going somewhere so Nietzsche hailed him.

"Where are you going Plato?" he asked.

"I'm going to see the void beyond the boundaries of all existence" Plato answered.

Nietzsche was taken aback by this. "Don't do it Plato!" he begged, "When you gaze long into the a...

your faith was strong but you needed proof

you saw Nietzsche bathing on the roof

his philosophy and logic overthrew ya

I have a german philosophy joke, but I don't think you'll get it

It's pretty Nietzsche

I wanted to open a forum about the death of God

but it's a pretty Nietzsche topic.

I'm confused. My professor told me Nietzsche was 'an atheist who worshiped at the altar of nihilism'.

Is nothing sacred?

1 in 10 philosophers buys into egoism.

It's a Nietzsche market.

A drunk was walking with a whisky bottle in the pocket of his coat

It was late and the streets were slippery from the rain. Suddenly, he lost his footing and fell face first in the curb.

Feeling his body, he noticed his chest was wet. He closed his eyes and prayed:

“Dear Lord, please let it be blood”

Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?

Because it's a Nietzsche Market.

Confessions Of A Heavy Thinker

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than a social thinker.

I began to think alone – “to relax,” I told myself – but I knew it wasn’t true. Thinking bacme more and more i...

Famous Philosophers

Aristotle - "what does it mean to be a good person"

Descartes - what does it mean to "be"

Nietzsche - "what does it mean"

Bertrand Russell - "what does 'it' mean"

C.S. Lewis - "what does it"

Lil Jon - "what"

Little Timmy always procrastinated his schoolwork

A few weeks ago, his teacher assigned the class to write a 10,000 word paper on a great philosopher, but with just 12 hours until the paper was due, Little Timmy had not written a single word. Realizing his predicament, Little Timmy hastily took a pencil out of his drawer and sat down in front of bl...

“Some people ask ‘why’ to determine a motive, I ask ‘why’ because I don’t believe there’s any logical reason to do anything.”

-Nietzsche on the habits of road crossing chickens

If you want to destroy science, you are a fundamentalist; if you want to destroy spiritual theology, you are a scientist; if you want to destroy both, you are

Nietzsche

There's actually very little demand for nihilist merchandise.

I guess it's a Nietzsche market.

What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy?

A Nietzsche market!

I have a knack for philosophical puns...

I guess you could say I have really found my nietzsche.

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