Sahara Desert Jokes

A somewhat predictable oldie but amusing nevertheless.

A guy was lost in the Sahara Desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image only to find a little old man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties la... read more

An African lumberjack is interviewing for a job at a major logging company. The foreman decides to take a practical route and hands the lumberjack an axe.

"Take a couple swings at that tree over there." The foreman said.

The lumberjack walks over to the tree and fells it in a single ch... read more

>!Lost.!<

I yelled out, "Oasis!"

(originally posted in r/dadjokes by me, wanted to share it with y'all too)

The barman says "long time no sea."

but the boss doesn't think he's fit enough. He tells the boss he is able to cut down any tree in a single swing.

To prove this, he goes outside, hits a five foot tree with his axe, and it falls over. The boss is impressed. The old man then repeats this with a ten foot tree. Then a thirty foot... read more

...the interviewer asks, "so, where have you worked previously?"

The lumberjack replies, "I did a few years in the Sahara Forest."

The interviewer, taken aback, inquires, "the Sahara 'Forest?' Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"

Lumberjack says, "yeah, that's what they call it n... read more

A large Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the Foreman's door.

The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. "Just give me a chan... read more

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, bu... read more

We are answering: “Possible, but you will end up with a shortage of sand.”

when suddenly the wind changes and the male picks up their scent. With a mighty roar the ferocious beast starts bounding towards them! Shocked and crying for help the reporter turns towards the cameraman, who had dropped the camera and was lacing up his shoes. Dumbfounded the reporter asks him: "Wha... read more

Last year on my first cake day, I shared one of my grandmother's long jokes. I think of making it a tradition, so here's another:

An old man was walking in the Sahara desert with his donkey when he reached a village. The people welcomed him with everything they could, offering him hospitality... read more

The Englishman is carrying an umbrella, the Scot is holding a cucumber and Trump is carrying a car door.
A Bedouin approaches and asks why the Englishman has an umbrella in the desert. The man replies. “Well, when it gets really hot, I put up my brolly and I can keep cool in the shade.”
The Be... read more

As he crawled out of the wreckage, Brian couldn't believe he had survived the crash. He checked himself for injuries, a few scratches but nothing major; no broken bones, no concussion, not even whiplash from the plane's impact with the ground. For a second he considered himself lucky. Until he looke... read more

I asked "How do you know, you are the greatest"

Well, have you ever heard of the sahara forest ?

I replied you mean the Sahara desert ?

Well I guess they call it that now.

'Just give me a chance to show you what I can do,' he said to the head lumberjack. 'All right,' said the boss. 'Take this axe and cut fired that oak tree.' Five minutes later the man was back. 'I've cut it down,' he says, 'and split it into lumber.' The boss couldn't believe his eyes. 'Where on eart... read more

The first guy to apply was a short little skinny fellow, who was laughed at by the manager and told to leave.

"Just give me a chance," the little guy pleaded.

"Okay," the manager replied, "Grab your axe and cut down that cedar over there."

Two minutes later he was back at the ma... read more

No matter how far south I go, I won't smell fish for weeks at a time.

Well sir, do you have any lumber jacking experience?

Yes. I was part of an elite team of lumberjacks who worked on the largest lumberjacking project ever for nearly 3 years.

Oh. You don't say? Where exactly was it you worked?

The Sahara Forest in Africa, Sir.

The Sahara ... read more

A man comes into a bar and orders a beer.
He lets out a deep sigh, which prompts the bartender to ask if he’s okay. The man says to the bartender: «I’m afraid I’m turning into some kind of wizard.»

«How would you know?» asks the bartender.

«Well, I’ve worked in a bakery making san... read more

...but the foreman refused to take him because he was too small. "I may look puny," protested the man, "but I'm not. Just give me a chance to show you my strength."

The foreman consented and told the man to go chop down a giant redwood that stood nearby. Half an hour later, to the foreman's s... read more

And the interviewer asked if he had any past experience.

"Yes, I have a lot of experience," the man said, "I cut down all the trees in the Sahara Desert."

The interviewer replied, "But the Sahara Desert doesn't have any trees."

"Yes, not anymore."

One day, a very skinny man with a plastic spoon knocked on Mr. Johnson's door. "I would like to try to cut down your tree," he said.

"With just that plastic spoon?" gasped Mr. Johnson.

"Yes," said the skinny man. The two of them went to the backyard, and the skinny man tapped the redwo... read more

Interviewer: So, what's your experience in the field? Where have you worked?

Man: I have worked in the Amazon forest, in Canada and in the Sahara desert

Interviewer: In the Sahara desert? But there are no trees there

Man: Yeah, now

The guy who interviewed me asked if I had, any experience?

I said I used to work out in the Sahara Forrest.

He said, "don't you mean the Sahara desert?"

well that's what they call it now, I said.

Supervisor: "Let's test your abilities. Go over to that forest there and cut down as many trees as you can in one minute."

\*one minute later\*

Supervisor: "Wow! This is the best I've ever seen! 20 trees in one minute! Where did you work before?"

Lumberjack: "The Sahara Forest."... read more

The foreman said, "I don't know if this is the kind of job you want; here we chop trees." The woodchopper said, "That's precisely the sort of work I do." The foreman replied, "Okay, here's an axe—let's see how long it takes you to chop down this tree here." The woodchopper went over to the tree and... read more

Two bank thieves decided to plan their final job, a huge bank near the Sahara desert.

Their trick was to leave the crime scene in a ice - cream truck, this way the police never suspected them. This final heist however was to prove their last.

They arrived in an battered old minivan an... read more

Two guys were flying over the Sahara Desert in a hot air balloon. They were completely lost, and had no way to find out where to go to get to civilization.

Suddenly, they see a man walking on the ground. Thinking they may be close to some kind of settlement, one guy calls down to the man:... read more