This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“You see, doc, ever since I got that disease from sex, I’ve been deathly scared of it,” said the man.

After some thought, the doctor responded. “Sounds like PTSTD.”

A old woman was arrested on terrorism charges today

A elderly woman was arrested on terrorism charges at Heathrow airport today.

She had tried to bring a bomb onto a plane with her.

When questioned as to why she did such a thing she said she was deathly afraid of her plane being blown up by a terrorist and thought the chances of two bom...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife is deathly afraid of snakes so I got her last year by placing a rubber Copperhead in her glove compartment.

She nearly shit herself! Sadly, she finally got me back today and I must admit it was pretty crafty.

She knows that every morning I have a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast so last night before she went to sleep she fucked my brother and emptied my bank account.

I’m deathly afraid of elevators

I’m gonna start taking steps to avoid them

A man was deathly allergic to mushrooms. After a huge fight, his wife cooked a mushroom into his dinner. He ate it and died.

The morel of the story.. killed him.

I’m deathly afraid of speed bumps

but I’m slowly getting over it.

I’m deathly afraid of sharing a car with someone while driving through underground passages.

I have carpool tunnel syndrome.

What do you make with Deathly Masrhmallows?

S'morecruxes. (credit my 8yo)

Did you hear that the director to Pulp Fiction is making a movie based off of a Belgian comic book where the main character gets deathly ill with an incredibly infectious disease and therefore has to cut off all contact with the outside world?

It's "Quentin Tarantino's *Tintin's Quarantino*".

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