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Cremation Jokes

Before I die

Before I die I am going to eat a whole bag of unpopped popcorn.

That should make the cremation a little more interesting.

Cremation...

...my last resort to become hot.

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.



Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.

Whats the worst joke to hear during a cremation?

Knock knock

When I was a kid, I made a really big sandcastle with my grandma

Unfortunately, I didn't impress anyone at the cremation...

Cremation isn't free

You gotta urn it

I got fired today because I asked a customer whether they wanted it "raw or well done"

I was informed I should have said "burial or cremation" instead.

Will moses be at the president's cremation?

To witness another burning bush.

Was at the cremation of and old buddy last week

He was always the funny one. His last joke was to eat a lot of corn before he died, knowing they'd burn him.

Quite the spectacl!

We got my dad the best cremation money could buy.

He urned it.

A classic one:

Recently people are prefering cremation over burial
Guess they are thinking "Outside the box"

Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way

We urn it.

My wife has clamored for months for plastic surgery so she could have a smoking hot body….

After seeing the doctor’s estimate, I told her cremation seemed more cost-effective.

Knock knock

Knock Knock

Whose there?

Grandad

QUICK, STOP THE CREMATION!

I wanna have a smoking hot bod for once in my life

That’s why I’ve decided on cremation

They call grandma "that old bag-of-bones"

If she knew that would happen, she would've chosen cremation.

Antonin Scalia requested cremation in his will, but millions of women will meet tomorrow to discuss if that's really best for his body.

Millions of women will meet tomorrow to discuss if that's really best for his body.

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